My husband and I bought our granddaughter a wedding gift from her registry. She reached out and accused us of being cheap after getting the wedding present. Now, she is upset and threatens to cut us off because we didn’t give her the cash gift that we presented to each of our grandkids a day before their wedding.
An elderly couple | Source: Getty Images
I’m in my 70s, a proud grandmother to five amazing grandkids: three women and two men. I adore my grandkids and often show up for them emotionally and financially. Whenever they have celebrations or hard times, they know that they can count on me.
Grandparents with their grown grandkids | Source; Getty Images
The youngest of grandkids, Eloise, got married last October. My husband, who is also in his 70s, and I have a tradition for our grandkids. We buy a small gift from the wedding registry, usually the cheapest item, and then, the day before the wedding, we give them a check for $40,000.
We hope they’ll use it for a house, but it’s ultimately their choice. We also ask them to keep it a secret, considering our large family. Until now, everyone has respected this request.
Happy young woman opening a gift | Source: Getty Images
This time, we sent an air fryer to our youngest granddaughter, the cheapest thing on her registry. Eloise called us, livid, accusing us of being cheap. I remember picking up her call and she didn’t even say hi, she just started ranting, “Seriously, Grandma? I just got your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find on my registry!”
Woman rejecting a gift | Source: Getty Images
I was taken aback because as much as the air fryer was the cheapest on their registry, I still thought it’d be useful to them, so I told her that. Eloise kept on complaining, “Useful? Come on, you know you can do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. I just can’t believe you’d be this cheap with me. It’s embarrassing.”
An air fryer | Source: Getty Images
In this heated moment, I told her, “Yes, you’re right. We are cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you DIDN’T know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
Woman disappointed by a gift | Source: Getty Images
I revealed this in an attempt to explain to Eloise about the cash gift we usually give our grandkids before the wedding but she was so angry at this point, that she wasn’t listening to a thing I said. I speculated that maybe she didn’t believe we would gift her such an amount of money after only buying her an air fryer.
Eventually, she said, “No, it’s clear. You just don’t love me enough to show it. You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care,” then she hung up.
Disappointed elderly couple | Source: Getty Images
Despite my husband and I’s shock at Eloise’s reaction, we then bought her a China set, hoping to appease her, but decided against giving her the $40,000, feeling she hadn’t earned it.
Fast forward to last week. Eloise talked to her brother and found out that we were telling her the truth about the money. After confirming it with her cousins, she, called again, accusing us of discrimination, “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?”
A cash gift | source: Getty Images
We stood firm, explaining our stance was due to her initial reaction, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded trying to convince us otherwise, “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
Woman throwing tantrums | Source: Getty Images
I was angry that she didn’t even understand what she did wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I explained.
Bewildered elderly woman on phone | Source: Getty Images
Eloise implored us, nearly in tears, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt like she should have only apologized to us instead of finding excuses to justify her behavior.
However, I told her, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.” Full of desperation, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
Young woman holding back tears on phone | Source: Getty Images
She pleaded, threatened to boycott Christmas, and accused us of cutting her off but we didn’t budge. In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Woman showing threatening finger | Source: Getty Images
Now, Eloise has followed up on her threat and she’s boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is siding with her, calling us unreasonable. However, we feel that after all we have done for Eloise, the air fryer gift, shouldn’t have triggered this reaction.
Bewildered elderly couple | Source: Getty Images
For context, we had already paid for her college, and her parents covered her graduate school and half the wedding. Additionally, she and her husband are financially comfortable and do not desperately need our money.
We’re also not upset with our grandkids for revealing the cash gift since she is among the group of family members who are allowed to know about it. Our reason for sending the air fryer earlier was that we live far away, so we always send our gifts early.
Elderly couple enjoying family time | Source: Getty Images
The wedding gift is also separate from the money, which we give with the hope it will be used for something significant, like a home. Now, we feel like the action we took towards Eloise was well deserved and we are not going back on our decisions even if she and her mom threaten to do their worst.
Despite the tumultuous events and Eloise’s refusal to understand our perspective, my husband and I stand by our decision. Love and respect in our family are paramount, and we hoped this situation would be a learning experience for her.
Elderly couple with family on Christmas | Source: Getty Images
The holidays might be quieter this year with her family’s absence, but our hope is for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts remain open to Eloise, whenever she’s ready to mend fences.
I Found an Envelope in My MIL’s First Aid Kit – She and My Husband Had an Agreement Behind My Back
My mother-in-law’s “helpful” visits after my baby’s birth seemed innocent until I discovered an envelope hidden in her bathroom. What’s worse, the emails inside and legal documents revealed a betrayal that I never saw coming.
I sat in my living room, staring at the mess of baby supplies while my five-month-old son Ethan napped in his swing. Ruth, my mother-in-law, stood in front of me with her perfect posture and concerned smile.
A woman in her 60s smiling while standing in a messy living room full of baby stuff | Source: Midjourney
“Why don’t you all stay at my house for a few days?” she suggested. “I have plenty of room, and you clearly need the support, dear.”
Before I could respond, Nolan jumped in. “That’s a great idea, Mom.” He turned to me, his expression pleading. “It will be good to have some help for a while. And Ethan will be in good hands.”
I wanted to say no. Ruth had been all up in our business since Ethan was born, always showing up unannounced or offering to take him to her house so I could “rest.” At first, I was thankful.
A tired-looking woman in her 30s holding a crying baby in a messy living room | Source: Midjourney
I was beyond exhausted from sleepless nights and juggling everything as a new mom. I didn’t even notice how overbearing she had become.
“You know, when I was raising Nolan, we did things differently. The right way,” she’d say while reorganizing my kitchen cabinets without asking. “Babies need structure, dear. They need experienced hands.”
As the weeks went by, Ruth grew more intense. She even converted her spare bedroom into a full nursery, complete with a crib, changing table, and rocking chair. She also bought duplicates of all of Ethan’s favorite toys.
A baby’s room | Source: Pexels
When I mentioned it seemed excessive, she just laughed. “Oh, Emma, you can never be too prepared! Besides, Ethan needs a proper space at Grandma’s house.”
Now here she was, suggesting we stay at her place. Nolan and her both stared at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.
I couldn’t fight them. I was just too tired. “Sure,” I mumbled. “A few days.”
So we crashed at my mother-in-law’s place for the night, and at exactly 7:30 a.m. the next morning, she was in the guest room doorway.
A woman smiling while standing at a doorway with her hands clasped | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, good morning! It’s the perfect time to get our sweet little pumpkin up. Have you fed him yet? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” she chirped.
Trying not to groan, I rose from the bed and walked out of the guest room while she fussed around in the nursery. The surroundings only made me feel worse. Her house was far from welcoming to me.
I always felt like an intruder there. The living room was immaculate, like a museum where nothing was meant to be touched. Family photos covered the walls, mostly of Nolan at various ages, with Ruth front and center in each one.
A home’s hallway with photos hanging on the walls | Source: Midjourney
I should’ve been grateful that we had help from family. Ruth was experienced and organized like no one else in the world. But I just couldn’t shake how uncomfortable this whole situation made me.
Before I reveal what happened next, I will say that you have to trust your intuition, especially after you become a mother. But hindsight is 20-20, right?
Looking back, all the signs were there. Ruth’s constant presence and her subtle criticisms wrapped in sweet concern were red flags. I just hadn’t put all the signs together yet, or I didn’t see how anyone could try to do something so… malicious.
An angry woman with her arms crossed in a messy kitchen | Source: Midjourney
Anyway, Ruth fed and got Ethan back to sleep almost straight away. It was still early, so she managed to convince Nolan to go grocery shopping.
Meanwhile, I had developed a pounding headache, so once they were gone, I went into Ruth’s bathroom to look for some painkillers. I opened her medicine cabinet, saw no pills, and reached for the first aid kit just in case she stored them there.
But something other than the bottles caught my attention. There was a manila envelope shoved in there. Weird. Why would there be an envelope in a first aid kit? It felt extremely out of place. Curiosity got the best of me, so I grabbed it.
A manila envelope | Source: Midjourney
I’m glad I peeked inside, although I would always advocate for other people’s privacy. In this case, though, the universe was telling me to do it.
Because as soon as I realized what I was reading, my blood ran cold. The envelope contained notes and documents that Ruth had carefully prepared. After putting all the puzzle pieces together, the intent was clear: she wanted to take Ethan from me.
The words “Custody Proceedings” jumped out in a particularly wordy set of papers stapled together. I realized with horror that these had been issued by an actual law firm.
A set of legal papers that say “Custody Proceedings” | Source: Midjourney
Aside from that, the notes mentioned my every movement concerning chores and mothering duties:
“Emma sleeping while the baby cries – 10 minutes (photo attached)”
“House in disarray during surprise visit”
“Mother seems uninterested in proper feeding schedule”
All this time, while she was pretending to help, Ruth had been building a case against me. Photos I never knew she’d taken showed me at my worst moments: exhausted, crying, and overwhelmed.
A horrible image showed me breaking down on the back porch the one time I thought no one could see me.
A worried woman standing on the porch of a house | Source: Midjourney
But the real punch to the gut came from the email thread with a family lawyer.
“As discussed, my son Nolan agrees that his wife Emma is unfit to be Ethan’s primary caregiver,” Ruth had written. “She’s too tired to argue, which works in our favor. Soon, Ethan will be where he belongs: with me.”
My husband was involved in this too. I couldn’t even understand how or why. We were struggling, but we were doing fine for first-time parents.
A shocked woman holding papers while standing in a bathroom | Source: Midjourney
My first instinct was to rip everything to shreds or set it on fire right there in her pristine bathroom. Instead, I took out my phone with trembling hands and photographed every single page. I needed evidence.
I had just returned to the living room when Nolan and Ruth came back from their grocery run. My whole body shook with rage as I pulled out the envelope and slammed it on the dining table.
“What is this?” I demanded.
Nolan’s face went pale. “Where did you find this?”
A man looking shocked | Source: Midjourney
Ruth rushed in behind him. “Now, Emma, let me explain. This is all for Ethan’s well-being.”
“His well-being?” I laughed, but it came out more like a sob. “You mean your well-being. You’ve been planning this for months, haven’t you?”
“Emma, you have to understand,” Nolan stammered. “It was just a precaution, in case you didn’t get better.”
“Better?” I turned to him, my voice rising. “Better from what? Being a new mom? How could you? Were you really going to let your mother take our son?”
A woman yelling and gesturing with her hands | Source: Midjourney
Nolan’s next words destroyed whatever was left of our marriage.
“Come on, Emma,” he sighed. “I don’t think we thought it through when you got pregnant. We’re too young for this. You don’t even pay attention to me anymore. Having Mom raising Ethan just makes sense, and we can focus on ourselves.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Are you that selfish? You don’t get enough attention, so you plot to take MY BABY from me?!”
“Emma, don’t yell,” Ruth scolded me. “You’ll wake the baby. You see? You’re too emotional to be a mother. Focus on being a good wife first, and then, we can talk about some visits.”
A woman holding her palm up | Source: Midjourney
I had no more words, though my feelings raged like never before. If I were a dragon, I would’ve burned down her house. But I took a deep breath, focusing on sounding cool and collected when I finally spoke.
“You won’t get away with this.”
With that, I ran to the nursery where Ethan was still sleeping, scooped him up, and headed for the door. Ruth tried to block my path.
Baby sleeping in a crib | Source: Pexels
“Emma, you’re being hysterical. You can’t take this child! We’ll call the police!” she threatened, reaching for Ethan.
I pulled away from her. “Don’t you dare touch him!” I grabbed the diaper bag and my purse. “Call the police and I’ll tell them how you tried to rob a mother of her child! We’ll see who they side with!”
At the door, I turned back and gave my soon-to-be ex-husband a scorching glance as I said, “Stay away from us.”
With that, I left that house and drove straight to my friend Angelina’s house as carefully but as quickly as I could. Luckily, Ethan slept peacefully in his car seat, unaware that his whole world had just shifted.
Baby strapped to a car seat | Source: Pexels
That night, after crying on Angelina’s shoulder and putting Ethan to bed in her spare room, I started making calls. I found a lawyer who specialized in family law and emailed her the photos I’d taken of Ruth’s documents.
The next few weeks were brutal. It was a bunch of legal meetings and court appearances that only made my anxiety skyrocket. Luckily, the police never got involved.
But Ruth and her lawyers tried to argue that she was just a concerned grandmother. She was probably not expecting my representative to use all the gathered notes and photos to prove that her intentions were nothing but manipulative.
An older woman sitting in court with a serious expression | Source: Midjourney
Also, when questioned, Nolan acted like a baby, confessing to doing everything his mother wanted. Once the judge heard that, he understood the truth.
So, Ruth didn’t just lose any chance at custody, but she also got slapped with a restraining order at my lawyer’s insistence. She can’t come within 500 feet of me or Ethan.
I filed for divorce from Nolan one week after custody was settled. The agreement gave him only supervised visitation rights. He didn’t even fight it. He probably knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on after everything that happened before.
Court papers for marriage dissolution | Source: Pexels
Now, Ethan and I are back in our house, making it our own again. To get rid of the painful memories, I painted the walls with new colors, rearranged all the furniture, and got my life together.
Sometimes I still get tired, but what mom doesn’t? Also, it’s much better now that I’m not dealing with a useless husband and a scheming mother-in-law.
And when my days seem endless, I remember Ethan’s sweet smile staring up at me, his momma, and that’s all I need to keep going.
A woman smiling while holding a laughing baby | Source: Midjourney
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