According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
A 13-year-old builds his own mini-house in his backyard, look inside and be impressed
Most middle schoolers probably have other things on their minds besides building houses.
But Luke Thill, a 13-year-old from Dubuque, Iowa, is unlike any other middle schooler you’ve seen before.
This talented and proactive boy has crafted his very own little house — in his parent’s backyard.
The project cost him roughly $1,500 USD — and now Luke is living his dream in his little cottage.
Come on in and have a look at what it looks like inside.
I think it’s safe to say that Luke is not like many of his 13-year-old peers. In a time of iPads, smartphones, gadgets, and X-Boxes, this young man decided to keep himself busy in a different and more ‘old-fashioned’ way. As he explains on his YouTube channel, his desire to build a small house grew out of feeling bored last summer.
After some thorough research, Luke had a pretty good idea of how he was going to put his plan into action.
The Process
It took him about a year to get the money and materials he needed to build the house. Luke mowed lawns, started a fund-raiser online, and ran errands for anyone who needed help in the neighborhood to make money.
An electrician Luke was friends with helped him install the electricity in exchange for Luke cleaning his garage out, for instance.
Luke used about 75 percent recycled material, many of which were things left over from his grandma’s house. The front door of the house was a gift from an uncle’s friend.
The 89-square-foot house is 10 feet long and 5 1/2 feet wide, with electricity but no plumbing, so no water or bathroom… yet.
“I liked the minimalism,” he told The Des Moines Register. “And I wanted to have a house without a huge mortgage.”
Luke has made several video clips and posted them online, where he talks about his project as many have grown curious about the little house.
As you can imagine, Luke also received some help from his parents, both financially and with the building itself.
But dad Greg made sure that it would be Luke himself who would pay for most of his project and also build most of it himself.
“It was a chance for a kid to do something more than play video games or sports,” Greg told The Des Moines Register. “It teaches life lessons.”
Teenager’s Dream
The house is in many ways a teenager’s dream, an oasis where you can chill and hang out in. It has a microwave, a TV, and a loft with a bed.
There’s even a barbecue and flowers at the back.
Luke usually does his homework after school at his new house and some nights during the week he gets to sleep there.
Luke already has aspirations to build another house — one that’s a little bigger for when he starts college. He also hopes to inspire others to follow their dreams:
“I want to show kids it’s possible to build at this age,” he says in one of his videos.
You can really see how proud he is about his project below.
Luke’s story is a great example of what a child can achieve with a clear goal, a strong worth ethic, and support from home.
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