You think you’re entering a dream when you marry the person you love. But that dream can quickly become a nightmare when you receive a list of rules about how to be a “good wife.” This is where my revenge started.
As a child, I always imagined that marriage would be different. I pictured Sunday mornings in bed, sharing laughs and secrets, and a partnership based on love and respect. But reality has a strange way of surprising you.
Dan and I had just gotten married. The wedding was perfect—small, intimate, everything I had always dreamed of. For a while, it felt like a fairy tale. Dan was kind and funny, and I truly believed we shared the same ideas about how we wanted to live our lives together. That was until Karen, his mother, gave me a gift after the ceremony.
I remember standing in our living room, still feeling happy from the wedding, when Karen came up to me with her “special” present.
“This is for you, Lucia. A little something to help you as you start your new role.” She handed me a fancy box with a big smile, but her eyes didn’t match her cheerful expression.
Inside the box was a neatly folded piece of paper. When I opened it, my mouth dropped. At the top, in bold letters, it said: “How to Be a Good Wife for My Son.”
At first, I laughed, thinking it was a joke. Maybe Karen was making fun of those old-fashioned ideas about marriage.
But as I kept reading, my smile faded. It was a real list—actual rules I was supposed to follow as Dan’s wife.
I looked at Dan, hoping he’d be as shocked as I was, but he was busy opening his own gift. A check. A big one, too. And me? I got a rulebook.
Later that evening, Dan came to me with a sheepish grin. “You got the rules my mom gave you, didn’t you?” he asked, as if it were just a casual suggestion, not a guide for a life of serving him.
“Yep… I did,” I replied, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice but not succeeding.
Dan shifted awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. “Well, you know, that’s just how it is now. Marriage is different from dating.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to smile, to say it was all a joke. But he didn’t.
“Wait… You’re serious?” I asked, looking at him like I didn’t recognize the man I had just married.
He shrugged. “It’s just how things are. Mom says it’s important to keep order, you know?”
I bit my lip, holding back a sharp reply. Keep order. That’s how they saw me now?
After Dan fell asleep, I read through the list again, my hands shaking with anger. I couldn’t believe the nerve.
At 6 a.m., I had to be fully dressed and made up, cooking a hot breakfast for Dan. No veggies, no milk, no butter—he only likes plain eggs and toast. The toast must be perfectly golden brown, and it has to be served on a blue plate because the green one ruins his appetite.
Do all the grocery shopping myself. Dan hates shopping, and it’s no place for a man. Always buy his favorite beer, but not too much—just enough for football nights, but not so much he gets lazy. And I had to carry everything in myself because it’s unladylike to ask for help.
After dinner, the kitchen had to be spotless before Dan even left the dining room. Men shouldn’t see a mess; they must enter a clean space. And always stack the plates by size, wiping the counters twice because Dan hates crumbs.
Dress conservatively when Dan’s friends come over. We don’t want them thinking I’m too “modern” or that I’m not the “right kind of wife.” A good wife never wears anything above the knee, and the neckline should always be high. Anything else would embarrass Dan in front of his buddies.
Make sure Dan never does his laundry. A good wife always has fresh, ironed clothes ready, and socks folded just right—three folds, not two—because that’s how Dan likes them. He should never have to pick out mismatched socks or wear a wrinkled shirt. It reflects poorly on me if he does.
By the time I finished reading, I was furious. This wasn’t just outdated advice; it was a full-on expectation that I cater to Dan’s every wish like I had no other purpose.
And the worst part? Dan was okay with it. He hadn’t even reacted when I mentioned the rules.
I felt trapped, but I wasn’t going to let them get away with this. If they wanted to play this game, I’d play along, but on my terms.
The morning after I read Karen’s list, I woke up at 6 a.m., just like the rules said. I got out of bed, put on my makeup, and slipped into a nice dress.
I looked at myself in the mirror, quietly laughing at how silly this all was. But if Karen wanted me to play this part, I would—just with a twist.
I went downstairs and made breakfast, just like the rules said: plain toast and eggs. But I didn’t stop there. I took the tiniest slice of toast and a plain boiled egg and put them on Dan’s huge blue plate. The plate was so big that the small meal looked ridiculous.
I carefully set it on the table, smiling sweetly as Dan walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.
He looked at the plate, confused. “Isn’t there… anything else?”
I shook my head, smiling brightly. “Just following the rules. Plain eggs and toast! Want me to make another slice?”
Dan sighed, picking up the toast. “No… this is fine.”
I stood there watching him eat the driest breakfast ever, trying not to laugh. Oh, this was going to be entertaining.
Later that afternoon, I made a big show of going to the grocery store. I took my reusable bags and left the house, making sure Dan saw me go by myself, just like the rules said.
When I got back, I carried in all the bags myself, even the heavy ones. Dan watched from the couch, clearly uncomfortable but saying nothing. As I unpacked, he frowned.
“Where’s the beer? Did you forget it?” he asked.
“Oh no, I didn’t forget,” I said cheerfully. “I just didn’t want you getting lazy. Besides, sparkling water is good for you!”
I pulled out a six-pack of sparkling water, a big bottle of green juice, and some quinoa, knowing he wouldn’t touch any of them. Dan’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. I could see he was starting to realize something was off, but I was just getting started.
After dinner, I followed the other rules in the letter. I wiped down the counters, washed the dishes, and cleaned the kitchen—but not really.
Instead of putting everything back where it belonged, I rearranged the whole kitchen. Plates went in the bathroom cupboard, utensils in the laundry room, and the toaster? I put that in the hall closet.
Dan came into the kitchen, looking around in confusion. “Why is everything all over the place?”
I turned to him with a worried look. “I’m doing my best! Maybe I need to wipe the counters three times instead of two?”
He blinked at me, totally confused, but he let it go. The fun was just beginning.
When Dan’s friends came over for football night a few days later, I made sure to follow Karen’s rule about dressing modestly. I dug through my closet and found the most old-fashioned outfit I could: a long skirt, high-collared blouse, and a buttoned-up cardigan that looked like something from the 1800s.
As soon as Dan’s friends arrived, I walked into the living room with a tray of snacks. His friends looked me up and down, confused but polite enough not to say anything.
Dan pulled me aside as soon as he could, whispering, “You know you don’t have to dress like that, right?”
I widened my eyes innocently. “But your mom said I have to dress modestly. We wouldn’t want them getting the wrong idea about me, would we?”
Dan’s friends exchanged awkward glances, but I kept smiling sweetly. The look on Dan’s face was priceless; he was starting to see that I was flipping this whole “good wife” idea upside down, and he was stuck going along with it.
Laundry day came, and I followed the rules again, but with a twist. I washed all of Dan’s clothes together: whites, darks, colors—everything went in one load. When I pulled them out, his once-clean shirts were now a lovely shade of pink, and his socks were either shrunk or mismatched.
Dan opened his drawer the next morning, pulling out one wrinkled pink shirt after another. “What happened to my clothes? These socks don’t even match!”
I walked in with an apologetic look. “Oh no! I must’ve messed up. I’ll try folding them in threes next time, just like the rules say.”
He groaned, putting on his mismatched socks before heading to work, completely defeated. I couldn’t help but smile.
By the end of the week, Dan had had enough. He was trying to eat yet another bland breakfast when Karen arrived, her usual smile on her face. She sat at the table, looking pleased.
“Lucia, I’m so glad to see you following the rules! Isn’t life easier now?”
I laughed quietly. “Oh, Karen, you have no idea.”
Dan slammed his fork down, surprising both of us. “Mom, we need to talk.”
Karen blinked, confused. “Talk about what?”
“These rules… they’re crazy,” Dan said, his voice rising. “I’m miserable, Lucia’s miserable, and this isn’t how we’re going to live.”
Karen looked shocked. “But, Dan, I just want to make sure you’re taken care of! I thought this was how marriage should be!”
Dan shot me a glance, and I shrugged. I was just following the rules, right?
“We need to find our own way,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re my wife, not my maid.”
Karen’s face fell, her smile fading. “I was just trying to help. I didn’t mean to upset you both…”
But it was too late. The damage was done. We spent the next few days talking about what we wanted our marriage to look like, finally finding a balance between his mom’s outdated ideas and our modern life.
The change didn’t happen overnight, but eventually, we found a way to laugh about the whole ordeal, especially when Dan had to explain to his mom why he was now making breakfast for me on Saturdays.
Karen never brought up the rules again, and I made sure to return the fancy box she gave me, filled with the crumpled paper and an assortment of mismatched socks. I told her I didn’t need them anymore.
Looking back, I can’t help but think that her gift, while ridiculous, actually brought us closer together. Dan and I learned how to communicate better, and we established what we wanted from our marriage without anyone else’s rules getting in the way.
These Passports Are Now Prohibited in the U.S. Following Donald Trump’s New Gender Executive Order
Upon his return to the White House, Donald Trump promptly began reshaping federal policies. In just a matter of hours, numerous executive orders were signed, overturning crucial decisions made by the previous administration. One of these directives, particularly controversial, concerns gender recognition.
A novel decree enforces a rigid binary definition of gender across all federal documentation. Non-binary and transgender individuals now encounter limitations on passports, legal records, and other official paperwork. The swift execution of these changes has left many in a state of confusion, scrambling to comprehend the repercussions and explore legal remedies.
Aside from passports, the order carries broader implications, influencing legal documents, penitentiaries, and federal policies pertaining to gender identity. Advocacy groups are mobilizing, lawsuits are being prepared, and affected individuals are seeking out alternatives ardently. Grasping the full extent of these alterations is imperative for those directly impacted and anyone with a vested interest in the future of gender identity rights in the United States.
Alterations in the Executive Order
Trump’s executive order, titled “Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government,” enacts a sweeping rollback of gender identity recognition in federal records. This order enforces a strict sex definition based on biological characteristics at birth, effectively negating previous policies that acknowledged gender diversity.
During the Biden administration, Americans had the option to choose a non-binary X gender marker on their passports, aligning with a growing number of international practices. The first U.S. passport with an X marker was issued in October 2021, with officials hailing it as a step toward inclusivity. Jessica Stern, the former U.S. Special Envoy for LGBTQ+ Rights, remarked: “The addition of a third gender marker propels the U.S. toward ensuring that our administrative systems account for the diversity of gender identity, gender expression, and sex characteristics among U.S. citizens.”
Trump’s new order reverses this advancement, stipulating that all official documents must now only reflect male or female designations based on biological sex. Secretary of State Marco Rubio reinforced this shift in an internal memo, informing State Department employees: “The policy of the United States is that an individual’s sex is not changeable. Sex and not gender shall be used on passports and consular reports of birth abroad.”
Beyond documentation, the order significantly modifies policies related to incarceration. In the past, transgender women could be placed in women’s prisons under certain circumstances, but the new directive mandates that all federal prison housing assignments strictly adhere to biological sex.
This ruling has sparked safety concerns, as transgender advocacy groups argue that placing trans women in men’s prisons heightens the risk of violence and abuse. The executive order also curtails gender-affirming policies across other federal institutions, indicating that agencies which previously acknowledged gender identity in legal cases, healthcare records, and workplace protections may now revert to binary sex classifications.
Impact on Passports and Impacted Individuals
Trump’s executive order has resulted in an immediate suspension of all passport applications requesting an X gender marker, leaving countless non-binary, intersex, and gender-nonconforming individuals in legal uncertainty. This decision impacts future applicants and those requiring passport renewal or updates.
The X gender marker was introduced under the Biden administration as part of broader efforts to broaden recognition of gender diversity in federal documentation. The first U.S. passport with an X designation was issued in October 2021, marking a historic shift toward inclusivity. This decision aligned the U.S. with countries such as Canada, Germany, Australia, and New Zealand, which already offered non-binary gender options on official paperwork.
Jessica Stern, former U.S. Special Envoy for LGBTQ+ Rights, hailed the introduction of the X marker as “a momentous step,” stating, “The addition of a third gender marker propels the U.S. forward toward ensuring that our administrative systems account for the diversity of gender identity, gender expression, and sex characteristics among U.S. citizens.” Now, that progress has been eradicated.
In an internal memo obtained by The Guardian, Secretary of State Marco Rubio instructed State Department employees and stated: “Suspend any application requesting an X sex marker. Suspend any application where the applicant is seeking to change their sex marker.”
Individuals with pending passport applications and X-gender requests will no longer be processed. The State Department has not provided alternative solutions for those affected, creating uncertainty about how they will navigate travel, employment, or legal identification.
While existing X-marker passports remain valid, concerns have been raised. Firstly, no guidance has been given on whether X marker holders can renew their passports. Secondly, individuals traveling with X-marker passports could encounter heightened scrutiny at customs in countries that no longer recognize the designation. Lastly, U.S. citizens with an X passport but other legal documents (such as Social Security records or state-issued IDs) marked as male or female may encounter challenges with verification processes in federal and international systems.
Reactions and Legal Disputes
LG/BT/Q+ advocacy groups have denounced the executive order, denouncing it as a direct assault on the rights of transgender and non-binary individuals. President of GLAAD, Sarah Kate Ellis, condemned the decision and remarked, “Transgender people are already serving in the military with honor and keeping our country and military safer and stronger. They meet the same rigorous health and readiness standards and continue to do so. The Trump administration’s inaccurate statements and rhetoric targeting transgender people are not based on facts.”
Legal experts anticipate a surge of lawsuits contesting the constitutionality of the executive order. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has already indicated intentions to file an injunction, arguing that the order discriminates against a legally recognized group of individuals.
Legal challenges to the executive order are expected to revolve around multiple arguments. Advocates contend that the policy infringes upon the Equal Protection Clause by discriminating against non-binary individuals and compelling them to misrepresent their identity on official documents. Another crucial legal contention involves administrative law, with opponents asserting that the State Department lacks the authority to suspend X gender passports without proper legislative oversight retroactively. Furthermore, human rights organizations have raised alarms regarding potential violations of U.S. treaty obligations, emphasizing that this policy shift may undermine identity protections recognized by international law.
What to Do If Affected
Passports issued with an X gender marker remain valid for the time being, but individuals may encounter challenges when updating or renewing them down the line. It is critical to monitor passport expiration dates, as currently valid passports can still be utilized for travel until they expire.
Those eligible for renewal should contemplate doing so at the earliest opportunity to avoid possible limitations if the policy becomes stricter. Staying abreast of legal developments is also crucial, as multiple advocacy groups and legal organizations are actively contesting the executive order, and forthcoming court rulings could impact passport regulations.
Individuals who applied for an X gender marker passport before the executive order went into effect should first reach out to the U.S. State Department to check the status of their application. Many applications may have been placed on hold or rejected due to the policy modification. Seeking legal counsel can also be beneficial, as groups like the ACLU and Lambda Legal offer assistance and guidance for those affected by gender-related documentation policies.
Non-binary individuals traveling with an X-gender passport may face hurdles due to discrepancies in U.S. policy and international recognition. Some countries might refuse entry or question passport validity, emphasizing the need to consult the embassy of the destination country before making travel arrangements. Airlines and TSA may demand supplementary verification if passport details do not align with official policies. Carrying supporting documentation, such as a state-issued ID or previous passport records, can assist in mitigating potential challenges. While U.S. consulates provide limited aid in cases of refusal at borders or discrimination, consular officers must now adhere to updated federal documentation rules.
The Future of Gender Identity Documentation in the U.S.
Trump’s executive order has revamped federal gender documentation policies, eliminating the X gender marker choice for passports and reinforcing a binary definition of sex. These adjustments impact numerous non-binary Americans, sparking worries about legal recognition, travel rights, and broader civil liberties.
Legal disputes are underway, with advocacy groups and civil rights organizations contending that the order violates constitutional safeguards and anti-discrimination statutes. Court decisions in the forthcoming months may determine the fate of the policy. The introduction of the X gender marker by the Biden administration in 2021 was viewed as a significant stride toward inclusivity, and its abrupt reversal underscores the profound political schism over gender identity rights in the U.S.
Beyond legal skirmishes, the new policy instigates uncertainties concerning future federal documentation regulations. If successfully challenged, passport choices may be reinstated; however, if upheld, similar restrictions could extend to other government-issued identification.
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