When I Got Home Early from Work, My Husband Offered to Give Me a Foot Massage – It Felt Suspicious, and I Was Right

I got home early, and Greg greeted me with an unusual smile and an offer to massage my feet—something he’d never done before. I wanted to believe it was kindness, but a faint click from the bathroom told me the truth: my husband was hiding a devastating secret.

It all started six years ago. I was 29, fresh out of a long-term relationship, and feeling like I’d never find someone again.

A sad young woman deep in thought | Source: Pexels

A sad young woman deep in thought | Source: Pexels

Then, one evening, Greg walked into my life. I was sitting at a bar, nursing a glass of wine after work, when he strolled over with that confident, easy smile of his.

“Mind if I sit here?” he asked, gesturing to the stool beside me.

He was tall, handsome, and had a twinkle in his eye. He was the kind of guy who seemed like he had the whole world figured out. I smiled shyly and nodded.

A man in a bar | Source: Pexels

A man in a bar | Source: Pexels

He sat down and immediately started talking. “You look like you’ve had a long day. Let me guess—accountant?”

I laughed. “Close. Marketing.”

“Ah, I knew it. You’ve got that creative, problem-solving vibe,” he said, grinning.

From that moment, I was hooked. Greg had a way of making me feel seen, like I was the most interesting person in the room. We started dating, and within a year, we were married.

A woman leaning against a man who's smiling while working on his laptop | Source: Pexels

A woman leaning against a man who’s smiling while working on his laptop | Source: Pexels

At first, it was perfect. He was funny, charming, and affectionate. He made me feel like I could do anything. I thought he brought out the best in me.

But as time went on, little things started to bother me. Greg didn’t want kids. He said it wasn’t the right time, but I knew deep down he’d never change his mind. It broke my heart because I had always dreamed of a big family.

A sad woman with her back turned to a distraught man | Source: Pexels

A sad woman with her back turned to a distraught man | Source: Pexels

And then there was his tendency to prioritize everyone else over me. His brother needed help moving? Greg was there. His friends wanted to hang out? He’d cancel our plans without a second thought. I told myself it was just who he was, but it hurt.

Over the years, our marriage settled into something… quiet. Too quiet. The spark that had once been there was gone. We were more like roommates than a couple.

A woman talking to her husband in the corridor | Source: Pexels

A woman talking to her husband in the corridor | Source: Pexels

That evening, I got home early from work for the first time in weeks. I was exhausted after back-to-back meetings and just wanted to kick off my heels and relax.

When I walked in, Greg was waiting for me by the door. He had this huge grin on his face, the kind that made his dimples show.

“Long day?” he asked, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

“Yeah,” I said, dropping my bag on the console table. “Exhausting.”

A tired woman | Source: Pexels

A tired woman | Source: Pexels

“Perfect,” he said, clapping his hands together. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll give you a foot massage.”

I blinked. Greg? Offering a foot massage? He usually groaned when I asked him to hand me the remote.

“Are you serious?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course,” he said, guiding me to the couch. “You deserve to be pampered.”

A couple kissing at home | Source: Pexels

A couple kissing at home | Source: Pexels

Too tired to argue, I let him slip off my shoes. His hands were surprisingly gentle as they worked on my aching feet.

“This is… nice,” I said hesitantly.

He laughed, a little too loudly. “Can’t a guy spoil his wife without it being suspicious?”

I forced a smile but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. This wasn’t Greg. At least, not the Greg I’d been living with for the past few years.

A serious woman sitting in her living room | Source: Midjourney

A serious woman sitting in her living room | Source: Midjourney

Then, I heard a faint click coming from down the hall.

I sat up straight. “Did you hear that? Like the bathroom door…”

Greg laughed nervously. “Must be the pipes. You know how this old house is.”

My stomach tightened. “Greg, what’s going on?”

“Nothing!” he said, his voice pitching higher than usual. “You’re just tired. Sit down, relax…”

A nervous man in his living room | Source: Midjourney

A nervous man in his living room | Source: Midjourney

Ignoring him, I got up and walked toward the bathroom.

“Wait!” he called after me, panic creeping into his voice. “Where are you going?”

The hallway felt longer than usual as I made my way toward the bathroom. My pulse pounded in my ears, each step making my unease grow.

A woman walking along a corridor | Source: Midjourney

A woman walking along a corridor | Source: Midjourney

When I flung the bathroom door open, the air hit me first. It was warm and humid, like someone had just stepped out of the shower. The mirror was slightly fogged.

My heart pounded as I scanned the room. That’s when I saw it: a tube of crimson lipstick lying on the counter.

I picked it up, holding it in front of him as he approached hesitantly. “Whose is this?”

Greg’s face turned pale. “Uh… it’s yours?”

An angry woman holding her lipstick | Source: Midjourney

An angry woman holding her lipstick | Source: Midjourney

“Don’t insult me,” I snapped. “You know I don’t wear this color.”

Before he could respond, a muffled sneeze came from the bedroom.

My breath caught. I looked at Greg, who was visibly sweating now.

“Care to explain that?” I asked, my voice icy.

A couple arguing in their home | Source: Pexels

A couple arguing in their home | Source: Pexels

He stammered, “It’s nothing. Really. I swear…”

I didn’t wait to hear the rest. With my heart racing, I headed for the bedroom.

Greg scrambled behind me, his voice rang out, desperate. “Wait, don’t!”

Ignoring him, I flung the closet door open.

An angry woman opening her closet | Source: Midjourney

An angry woman opening her closet | Source: Midjourney

A woman crouched there, clutching a pair of high heels to her chest. She looked startled, like a deer caught in headlights. Her hair was mussed, and she was wearing a silk robe that I instantly recognized as mine.

I stared at her, my mind reeling. “Who are you?” I demanded, my voice sharper than I’d ever heard it.

An angry woman shouting at her husband's mistress | Source: Midjourney

An angry woman shouting at her husband’s mistress | Source: Midjourney

She stood up slowly, her face flushing red. “This isn’t what it looks like,” she said, brushing at the robe like that would somehow make everything better.

Greg stepped into the room, his hands raised like he was trying to calm a wild animal. “Honey, please, let me explain.”

An apologetic man holding his hands up | Source: Freepik

An apologetic man holding his hands up | Source: Freepik

I turned on him, the fury rising in my chest. “Explain? Explain what, Greg? That there’s a strange woman hiding in our bedroom? Wearing my robe?” I gestured to the woman, who was now fidgeting awkwardly.

“Listen, I didn’t mean for you to find out like this,” the woman said weakly.

A shocked woman sitting in bed | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman sitting in bed | Source: Midjourney

“Find out what?” I snapped, my voice shaking. “That my husband is a lying cheat? That he brings his little girlfriend here when I’m at work? Don’t try to defend him!”

“Babe, please, don’t do this,” Greg begged, stepping closer to me.

“Don’t you dare call me ‘babe,'” I hissed, stepping back. “You think you can sweet-talk your way out of this? Pack your things and go. Now. Both of you.”

An angry woman in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

An angry woman in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

The woman looked at Greg, wide-eyed. “I thought you said she wouldn’t be home.”

My stomach churned at her words, but I refused to let the tears fall. I turned back to Greg. “Get her out of my house. And don’t bother coming back.”

Greg held his hands up in surrender. “Just give me a chance to explain—”

“Leave!” I shouted, my voice echoing off the walls.

A woman shouting in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

A woman shouting in her bedroom | Source: Midjourney

The woman grabbed her shoes and scurried out of the room. Greg hesitated for a moment, his mouth opening as if to argue. But when he saw the look on my face, he seemed to think better of it.

He left without another word, following her out the front door.

I stood in the middle of the bedroom, the weight of what had just happened pressing down on me. For a moment, I felt numb. But then something shifted.

A sad woman in the middle of her living room | Source: Midjourney

A sad woman in the middle of her living room | Source: Midjourney

This was my house. My life. And I wasn’t going to let Greg taint it any longer.

I grabbed a box from the garage and started packing his things. His clothes, his toiletries, even the stupid coffee mug he loved went into the box. I worked quickly, methodically, not letting myself dwell on the memories tied to each item.

As I was finishing up, I called my brother. “Can you come over?” I asked, my voice steady but tired.

A tired woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels

A tired woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “What’s going on?”

“Greg’s gone,” I said simply.

My brother arrived half an hour later, his presence a welcome relief. He didn’t ask many questions, just hugged me and helped me carry Greg’s belongings to the front door.

By the time Greg returned the next night, I was ready.

A nervous man standing on a porch | Source: Midjourney

A nervous man standing on a porch | Source: Midjourney

He walked in, looking sheepish and hopeful. “Can we talk?” he asked softly.

I pointed to the pile of his belongings by the door. “No, Greg. We’re done.”

“Please, just hear me out—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I said firmly. “Take your things and go.”

An angry woman standing in her doorway | Source: Midjourney

An angry woman standing in her doorway | Source: Midjourney

He stood there for a moment, as if he thought I might change my mind. When I didn’t, he sighed, grabbed his things, and walked out the door for the last time.

The next day, I filed for divorce. It felt strange, almost surreal, but also like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Divorce papers on the table | Source: Pexels

Divorce papers on the table | Source: Pexels

Over the next few months, I started to reclaim my life. I redecorated the house, filling it with things that made me happy. I spent time with friends and family, people who reminded me of who I was before Greg came along.

It wasn’t easy. There were moments when I felt angry, hurt, and lonely. But each day, I felt a little lighter. A little freer.

A woman looking out of her window | Source: Pexels

A woman looking out of her window | Source: Pexels

One evening, as I sat in my newly redecorated living room, I looked around and realized something: I was happy. Truly happy.

Greg’s betrayal had been painful, but it had also been a wake-up call. I had spent so much time trying to make our marriage work that I’d forgotten my own worth. Now, I was finally putting myself first.

A tired woman in her office | Source: Pexels

A tired woman in her office | Source: Pexels

As I closed the chapter on my marriage, I felt hopeful for the future. Whatever came next, I knew I was strong enough to face it.

Laugh Out Loud: 12 Best Jokes About Kids, Animals, Jobs, and Life

Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.

Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.

Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels

Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels

The Parrot and the Burglar

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”

Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.

The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”

Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.

“Was that you?” he asked.

A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels

A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels

“Yes,” the parrot replied.

Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”

“Moses,” said the bird.

“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”

A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels

A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels

The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”

Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.

The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up

Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.

Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels

Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels

“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.

A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.

Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”

Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”

A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney

A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney

But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”

The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.

Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.

The Twin Naming Fiasco

A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”

A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels

A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels

“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”

Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”

“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”

“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”

A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels

A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels

“Joe called him De-nephew.”

Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.

The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma

A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”

A farmer standing in a lawyer's office | Source: Midjourney

A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney

The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”

“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.

Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”

“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”

Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”

A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels

A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels

The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”

The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.

The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction

A frog called a psychic hotline.

A frog on a table | Source: Pexels

A frog on a table | Source: Pexels

He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”

“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”

The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”

A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels

A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels

Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.

The Never-Ending War

A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”

“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”

A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels

A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels

“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.

“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.

The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.

A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels

A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels

That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.

The Iron Phone Incident

Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.

His coworker asked, “What happened?”

A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels

A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels

Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”

“And the other ear?”

“The guy called back.”

Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.

Sharing is Caring

An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.

A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels

A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels

A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.

The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”

A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.

Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”

A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney

A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney

The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”

From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.

The Blind Bat

A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.

Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels

Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels

Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.

“Do you see that tree?” he asked.

“YES!” they screamed.

“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”

That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.

The Florist’s Card Mix-Up

A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.

A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels

A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels

However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”

Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”

The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”

A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels

A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels

The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”

Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.

The Honest Lawyer

A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”

The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”

A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney

A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney

The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”

The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”

We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.

The Farmer in Hell

A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.

A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney

A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney

“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.

The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”

Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.

Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.

Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney

Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney

To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.

“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.

The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”

Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.

Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels

Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels

So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!

Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.

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