Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Candace Leslie Cima, 76, is not an ordinary grandma. While she chooses to age gracefully, people often criticize her for her style.
A 76-year-old lady has come under fire for not dressing appropriately for her age.
Candace Leslie Cima showed off her perfect form in a stylish black one-piece swimsuit in response to the criticism, unfazed by it.
She continues to demonstrate that women can still look stunning and stylish at any age, unaffected by the remarks of those who despise them.
Buffalo, New York, native Candace Leslie Cima, 76, is a mother, a businesswoman, a grandmother, a model, and an artist. She gained notoriety for her blog, “Life In My 70s: Aging Is Changing,” where she offered tips on fashion and lifestyle and talked about how women should accept all the aspects of aging that come with it naturally.
Cima claims that she has always been fascinated by the idea of aging and the frequently unfavorable connotations associated with it. In her twenties and thirties, she became interested in the aging process.
She has been a businesswoman for more than 32 years and is the owner of a senior living complex. Cima came to the following conclusion about the years she spent getting to know senior citizens from all backgrounds:
“One thing is certain in my knowledge: aging is changing. Neither our mothers nor our grandmothers are us. We now have the opportunity to live fulfilling lives as stylish, intellectual, caring, and compassionate women far into old age.
In addition to her fame for showing off her stunning looks on her TikTok account, Cima is also well-known for wearing really fashionable and, dare I say, youthful clothing. Even with 94,000 TikTok followers, Cima frequently faces trolling because of the content that she chooses to share.
The gorgeous person receives a lot of flak for wearing clothes that are too big for her age. Nevertheless, the unfazed 76-year-old refuses to let her critics affect her in any way and instead responds by wearing the outfits she desires.
She was spotted wearing an elegant daytime ensemble in a previous TikTok video, which looked like something someone in their late 20s to early 30s may have also worn: an open-toed white stiletto and an edgy pale blue blouse.
A previous critical remark from a viewer stating that Cima shouldn’t be wearing what she is wearing at sixty years old is included in the video’s text. She corrects the viewer while flaunting her skills in the video, shutting down the remark and stating that, in fact, she was 75 years old at the time.
Her reappearance in a TikTok video last year, where she wore a stylish, figure-hugging black one-piece bikini while on vacation in Florida, was another mic-drop moment. Her admirers praised her appearance as they strolled around the poolside area.
Cima’s TikTok social media account was first made to inspire users to get rid of any bad associations with becoming older. She wants to give women the confidence to accept the beauty that comes with aging gracefully and naturally, regardless of their age.
Unaffected by those who have advised her not to wear particular clothes because they are inappropriate for her age, Cima keeps motivating other senior ladies. She often discusses the aspects of aging she enjoys on her blog.
Her favorite aspects of becoming older are being bold, learning to do something new, being less stressed, and having the maturity to accept things beyond her control. Cima believes that growing older might be the best stage of a person’s life:
Many women in their latter years lead active, satisfying lives. Record-breaking and barrier-breaking women are becoming more and more prevalent.
It goes without saying that Cima, who has immersed herself in every aspect of aging, acknowledges that occasionally, older women place restrictions on their own abilities. She is, however, emphatic that other senior women refuse to be moulded or influenced by the discourse that suggests women are incapable of performing certain tasks after a certain age.
Cima claims that as she has aged, she has become increasingly mindful of the ways in which stress and worry impact her. She reveals that while the sensations are inevitable, she eventually discovered via meditation and time management techniques how to balance and improve her connection with her stress and anxiety in order to counteract the harmful bodily impacts of those unpleasant emotions.
Cima is still ignoring the ageist insults that her detractors on social media are spewing at her.
Experience and perspective that come with growing older help to shape a person’s outlook on life. Says Cima:
“Attitude is everything, and your perspective on a subject can alter your feelings toward it. You can alter the result by altering your feelings about it. Growing older doesn’t mean giving up; rather, it means you’ve gained knowledge that, if you so choose, is unstoppable.
Cima’s trim body stands out on its own, even in addition to her eye-catching wardrobe choices. The 76-year-old keeps up her amazing body via regular exercise and fitness.
She demonstrated her amazing yogic abilities while practicing her daily yoga regimen in another TikTok video that she uploaded. Cima demonstrates her extraordinary flexibility by bending and contorting into a variety of forms and stances.
Cima was shown on her yoga mat in the 38-second video, clad entirely in black sportswear. She amazed onlookers, inspiring them to see an elderly woman capable of such feats, from the cat-camel stretch to a full-blown split. One observer made the following comment:
“You are truly an inspiration! As an example of graceful and healthy aging, I have started following a few older ladies on social media at the age of 44.
Cima is still ignoring the ageist insults that her detractors on social media are spewing at her. She never gives up on her mission to encourage women who might not feel at ease in their senior years and to serve as an inspiration to others who are looking for role models.
Leave a Reply