My Fiancé Humiliated Me in His Wedding Vows — He Regretted It Later
As Emily walks down the aisle, she feels as though she is finally living her wedding dream. The dress is perfect just like the venue, music, and her groom. Until it’s time for the vows when Jason completely humiliates her in front of everyone. But later, he gets a taste of his own medicine.
It was the day that I had been waiting for. After months of wedding planning and dieting to fit into my dream dress. This was the moment.
Bride walking down the aisle | Source: Midjourney
“Come on, darling,” my father said, holding out his hand, ready to walk me down the aisle to Jason.
“How do you feel?” my father asked me, kissing my forehead.
“Happy,” I said simply. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for years now, Dad.”
We walked down the aisle to soft music that I had chosen months ago. The guitarist perched on a wooden stool.
A bride and her father | Source: Midjourney
“You look beautiful, Emily,” Jason said, taking my hand from my father.
The ceremony began with the priest talking about love and commitment, just as he had told us he would.
“It’s time for the vows,” the priest said, smiling at us both.
“Jason, you are my best friend, and I’ve always wanted to marry my best friend. I promise to support you, to always laugh with you, and to grow with you. I vow to be faithful and cherish every moment we have together. In this life, and the next.”
Bride saying her wedding vows | Source: Midjourney
My sister sighed next to me, wiping away her tears.
“Jason,” the priest said. “It’s now your turn.”
Jason looked at me and smiled, and then he turned to his groomsmen, causing them to snigger.
A bridesmaid crying at a wedding | Source: Midjourney
“Emily, my love,” he said. “I promise to always be there for you, even when you’re nagging me to take out the trash because you think the house smells.”
Jason’s groomsmen chuckled.
“And I’ll always hold your hand, especially when we’re walking through spider-infested areas because we all know how much you love those eight-legged critters.”
The groomsmen laughed louder. Some of our guests joined in.
Groomsmen laughing | Source: Midjourney
And still, Jason continued.
“I vow to remind you to pick up your dragging feet when you walk, so we can avoid another trip to the emergency room like that time you tripped over absolutely nothing. And to taste all the burnt lasagna in the world because that’s your signature dish.”
The more Jason spoke, the more embarrassed I got.
Groom reading his vows | Source: Midjourney
I frowned at him, hoping that he would understand that there was nothing beautiful or romantic about his words. But he ignored me and continued.
“Also, I will tolerate your singing in the shower. It may sound like a cat in distress but at least it makes me appreciate good music! And most importantly, Emily,” he said.
“I promise to forgive you for basically forcing me to propose to you after you left those bridal magazines all over the apartment.”
My jaw dropped.
A woman in the shower | Source: Unsplash
I didn’t know how to react. Jason’s groomsmen were all but falling over each other with laughter.
“Really?” I whispered to him.
Jason winked.
“Now, it’s time for you to exchange rings,” the priest said.
Jason’s niece came up to the altar with the wedding rings tied onto a little cushion that she clutched tightly.
“Here you go, Aunty Emily,” she said nervously.
A little girl holding a ring cushion | Source: Midjourney
“Thank you, sweetheart,” I said, taking the rings from her.
Holding the rings, I realized I didn’t want to put Jason’s ring on his finger. We were married now, all but for signing the registration book.
But after hearing Jason’s vows, I didn’t know if I wanted to be with this man.
“Give me your hand,” Jason said, pulling my hand.
He slid the ring onto my finger and held his hand out for me to do the same.
A bride putting on the groom’s wedding ring | Source: Unsplash
My stomach turned. Suddenly, my dream bubble had burst. Nothing felt as it had moments before.
“Jason, you may now kiss the bride!” the priest exclaimed.
Jason grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him, his other hand gripping the back of my neck. He kissed me without passion or feeling.
A couple kissing at the altar | Source: Midjourney
“What on earth was that?” I asked Jason when we were doing our photographs before the reception.
“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning.
“Your vows,” I said. “They were insensitive and embarrassing.”
“No! They were cute!” he said. “I kept them true to us.”
A bridal couple talking outside | Source: Midjourney
“You basically told everyone that I’m a nag and clumsy. And that I forced you into marrying me.”
I crossed my arms and waited for some kind of explanation.
“Oh, come on, Emily,” he said. “Everyone was laughing. It’s not as deep as you’re making it. Let’s just do this photoshoot and go back to the party. I am starving.”
I bit my tongue. I didn’t have it in me to fight.
A smiling groom | Source: Unsplash
At the reception, Jason truly let himself go. He went overboard with the drinks and ate enough steak and potatoes to make anyone sick to their stomach.
“Mom,” I said, kneeling next to my mother before the formalities began. “I don’t feel good.”
“What do you mean, sweetheart?” my mother asked.
“Jason…” I said, my voice trailing as the weight of my uneasiness set in. “Those vows were nothing but an embarrassment.”
“Maybe it was just nerves, Emily,” my mother said. “You know how Jason can be sometimes.”
A bride looking down | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t know, Mom,” I said. “I just feel like the magic has escaped.”
Soon after, the emcee got up and began the formalities. Jason’s brother stood up and spoke about how we met and his first impressions of me.
“I didn’t think Emily would stay!” Jackson laughed, his beer bottle in his hand. “But I guess she knows how to deal with my brother.”
It went on and on, and my husband ate up his brother’s words, chuckling loudly.
A man giving a speech | Source: Midjourney
Then, it was time for my father-in-law’s speech.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have a few words to say to my son and his new bride, the lovely Emily,” he said.
I held my breath. I had always gotten along with Robert, and he had always treated me well. But I had thought the same of Jason until his vows were said.
A man giving a speech | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t know if I had to prepare myself for something from Robert, too.
If I had to be honest with myself, I just wanted to run away. I didn’t feel like a bride. I didn’t feel much like anything. I didn’t even feel like myself.
I wanted to rip off my wedding dress and get into my comfiest pair of sweatpants. I wanted to cry.
A bride feeling sad | Source: Midjourney
“Jason, do you know what makes a marriage work, son?” Robert asked.
“Uh, love? Attraction? Chemistry?” Jason said, faltering.
Who on earth is this man? I wondered to myself.
“It’s respect,” Robert said, shaking his head. “It’s about cherishing your partner and never making them feel small or embarrassed. Today, you turned your vows into a series of jokes at Emily’s expense. That was not only inappropriate but also deeply hurtful.”
A groom looking upset | Source: Midjourney
I glanced around and saw some of the guests were shaking their heads.
“To teach you a lesson, Jason,” Robert continued. “I’m going to share something about you that you might find equally embarrassing.”
“What? Dad! Stop!” Jason said, standing up.
“Jason still sleeps with a nightlight. He says that it’s because he likes to read in bed, but we all know that it’s because he’s afraid of the dark.”
A nightlight next to a bed | Source: Midjourney
Laughter erupted through the room.
“And let’s not forget about the time when Jason tried to cook for Emily and set off the fire alarm because he didn’t know that normal people don’t put metal in microwaves.”
“Dad, just stop it,” Jason hissed.
“Or about the time when he got drunk after a party, and insisted that he needed to sleep on the floor in my bedroom.”
The crowd laughed louder.
A crowd laughing | Source: Midjourney
“I shared these stories not to embarrass you, Jason. But to show you how it feels. Humor at someone else’s expense isn’t funny, it’s cruel. You need to understand the consequences of your actions.”
I smiled at Robert, finally feeling seen.
“Emily, on behalf of my son, I apologize. Jason still has a lot to learn about being a loving and respectful partner. But I know that he can do better, and I hope you give him the chance to prove it.”
A smiling bride | Source: Midjourney
“I’m so sorry, Emily,” Jason said from beside me. “I thought I was being funny, but I see how ridiculous I was being. Give me another chance.”
“Fine,” I said. “But it’s going to take more than just empty words to fix this.”
I want to give us another chance, but something still feels very off.
A close-up of a groom | Source: Midjourney
What would you do?
The 7 Funniest Jokes About Husbands and Wives That Every Couple Can Relate To
Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
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