The topic of what constitutes a lasting and prosperous marriage has been a subject of ongoing discussion. While effective communication is often considered a crucial factor, a Japanese couple defied expectations by maintaining a 20-year marriage without saying a word. The surprising rationale behind their silent union adds an intriguing twist to their story.
A Japanese husband took the “silent treatment” to a whole new level.
The silent treatment entails the refusal to participate in verbal communication when someone is trying to engage and elicit a response. It is not unusual to observe a pause in communication following an argument.
However, can you imagine the difficulty of being married to a spouse who persistently avoids communication? This was the situation for a couple from the Nara region in Japan. Otou Katayama and his wife Yumi faced a prolonged two-decade rough patch in their relationship.
For decades, the man refrained from speaking to his wife, even though they lived under the same roof.
Otou Katayama continued to reside with his children and wife. Despite Yumi Katayama’s attempts to initiate conversations with her husband, she consistently faced a dearth of genuine responses. Instead, Otou communicated approval or disapproval through non-verbal cues, relying on grunts and nods.
Surprisingly, the idea of seeking a divorce or separation never crossed the wife’s mind. The couple even extended their family by welcoming a third child, all while Otou Katayama maintained his silent demeanor towards his wife.
The reason behind Katayama’s silence is even more surprising.
Years later, the father and husband elucidated the reasons behind imposing a 20-year silent treatment on his wife. Katayama believed he was lacking the attention he desired from his wife, feeling that her care was predominantly focused on their children.
Initially, he merely sulked about the situation, but over time, this evolved into a sense of jealousy toward his kids and his wife, who exhibited deep involvement in the upbringing of their offspring—perhaps a level of involvement that exceeded Katayama’s preferences.
Thanks to a TV show, husband and wife finally exchanged words after 20 years.
After two decades of silence, the adult children of the Japanese couple decided to take matters into their own hands. They approached a TV show, seeking assistance in resolving the longstanding conflict between their parents. TV Hokkaido stepped in to help the children witness Katayama speaking to his wife for the first time.
The children confessed that they couldn’t recall ever hearing a conversation between their parents. TV Hokkaido orchestrated a meeting between Otou and Yumi at a park, the same location as their first date many years ago. Unbeknownst to the spouses, their children, along with the audience, observed the emotional moment unfolding before their eyes.
After some initial hesitation, Otou Katayama finally mustered the courage to speak a few words to his wife, Yumi. In that moment, the husband felt a heightened sense of remorse and understanding regarding the situation. Katayama conveyed to his wife that he was aware of the pain and hardship his prolonged silence had caused her. Despite his regret, he also expressed gratitude to Yumi for standing by him throughout two decades of his silent period, which ultimately came to an end on that day.
Undoubtedly, the relationship between Otou and Yumi is distinctive, much like that of the couple from our previous article who, despite the woman’s disability and the criticism they faced, embarked on the journey of starting a family and became parents.
My Greedy In-Laws Tried to Get Rid of Our Sick Mom, but She Brilliantly Taught Them a Lesson
When Lexie’s husband’s parents are left to give up their home due to losing their jobs, they are left stranded. Seeing her husband’s distress at being unable to help, Lexie allows her mother to welcome them to stay with her. Things start off okay, but then the tables start to turn. Instead of being grateful, they start to complain about everything, resulting in a call to social services.
Not long after Cameron and I got married, his parents were faced with unfortunate circumstances. His mom, Jessica, and dad, Roger had no choice but to give up their home because Roger had lost his job.
An elderly couple sitting on a bench | Source: Unsplash
Cameron and I didn’t have the space to take them in. But they were desperate, and so were we. We couldn’t let them just try and figure it out for themselves.
When they realized that my mother lives alone, they asked her to let them move in with her. My mom had a double-story house, but due to being wheelchair bound since a car accident a few years ago, she had a live-in nurse to care for her.
A broken windshield | Source: Pexels
“Please, Tanya,” my mother-in-law said when we were all at my mother’s house for dinner. “We don’t have anywhere else to go. And we don’t have any money available at the moment.”
I knew that this entire thing affected my husband because there was only so much we could do in our own capacity. When my mother agreed, Cameron gripped onto my hand tightly and sighed in relief.
A woman in a wheelchair | Source: Midjourney
“Of course, you can stay here. You can stay for as long as you need to,” my mother told them.
At first, things were okay.
My mother-in-law cooked meals, and my father-in-law mowed the grass and took care of the basic upkeep of the house.
A person cutting oranges | Source: Pexels
But then, things changed and social services got involved. It was a nightmare.
This is what happened.
My in-laws began complaining that my mom was occupying the whole first floor, something that was obvious. Since her accident, my sister and I had converted the first floor into an entire house by itself for my mother.
A wheelchair beside a bed | Source: Pexels
She needed her space, and we were going to give it to her. The second floor was for our space when we visited Mom.
Instead of being grateful, my in-laws complained that they couldn’t put their stuff there. They mumbled about the simple food my mother had in her fridge.
An open fridge | Source: Pexels
“It’s such basic foods. There’s nothing new or different here,” Roger would say.
But still, even though they complained, they didn’t try to buy their own food or food that they would have liked to eat on occasion.
An elderly couple shopping | Source: Pexels
Nothing changed when Jessica got a job as head librarian at the local library or when Roger got a job as a proofreader for the local newspaper.
“Don’t you think they should start looking for a new place?” Cameron asked me when we were taking a walk one evening.
An elderly woman in a library | Source: Pexels
“I’m sure your mom cannot wait to have the house back,” he said.
“Actually,” I replied. “I think she enjoys having people there. She always said that it was too quiet with just her and Linda.”
“Yeah, I get that,” he said. “But my parents can be a lot.”
A couple taking a walk | Source: Pexels
It was as if my husband had spoken it into existence.
One day, as I went over to my mother’s house with pastries, I found her looking upset.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her immediately.
Pastries in a box | Source: Pexels
“Cameron’s parents,” she began slowly. “They’ve been hinting about a nursing home for me. I heard them talk about it last night, too.”
“Mom, do you want me to ask them to leave? They’re crossing the line,” I said, worried about her well-being.
A woman holding her face | Source: Unsplash
“Oh, honey,” she said, a mysterious smile forming on her face. “I’ll take care of everything, don’t you worry.”
A few days later, my mother-in-law called us crying.
“How could Tanya do that to us?” she asked.
A crying old woman | Source: Pexels
Apparently, my mother had told them to pack their things and move to the first floor because she was ready to move into a nursing home. She said that she needed the help and that she wanted to live a little easier.
Cameron’s parents thought that they had won the battle they created.
A healthcare facility | Source: Unsplash
Instead, my mother had called social services, telling them that she had two individuals who were living with her temporarily but needed the help.
The next day, people from social services arrived at my mother’s doorstep, ready to take Jessica and Roger away to their social housing facilities.
A person holding a phone | Source: Pexels
They were livid.
Cameron and I met them at my mother’s house because they demanded an audience.
“This is outrageous! We thought we were moving downstairs, not out of the house!” my mother-in-law shrieked.
An angry old woman | Source: Pexels
“How dare she trick us like this! We have done everything for her these past few months,” my father-in-law added.
Beside me, my husband flinched. He was caught in the middle, not knowing what to do or how to react.
“You took advantage of her kindness and tried to push her into a nursing home. You got what you deserved,” I retorted, barely containing my own anger at their words.
An angry old man | Source: Pexels
“You can’t just throw us out like this!” my mother-in-law protested.
“You’ve got a little place to live now,” my mother said, smiling. “But also, that’s not my problem. I helped you out, and you did nothing but complain. You didn’t want to be here. You were just here because you had no choice. Now, you can learn to fend for yourselves.”
Jessica was appalled. I don’t think she expected my mother to retaliate in that way.
A smiling woman in a wheelchair | Source: Unsplash
It was true, social services housed them in a little apartment which was close to both their jobs. They would be absolutely fine until they chose to move elsewhere.
As they left, they continued to curse, but it was clear that they had been defeated by the whole episode.
A small apartment | Source: Unsplash
“I’m sorry,” my husband told my mother when we settled her down again. “This was all my fault.”
It took a while for my mother to calm him down and make him realize that nothing was his fault.
“Your parents needed a place to stay, and they were welcome to do so here, but they continued to complain. They made life difficult here. Everything was a problem,” she said.
An upset man | Source: Unsplash
I continued to work my way around the kitchen while they spoke. I knew that my husband needed a pick-me-up, so I made his favorite Indian dishes, hoping that it would do the trick.
If I had to admit it, I also felt like it was my fault. I should have objected to the move in the first place. But I knew that my in-laws needed a place to live when they lost their homes. And maybe it was because of guilt.
A plate of food | Source: Unsplash
Guilt born from the mere fact that Cameron and I couldn’t do it ourselves, that we both had allowed them to live with my mother.
As we got into bed that night, I told my husband that we needed to see his parents. We needed to make sure that they were okay, despite their horrible behavior, they needed to know that we still cared.
A couple lying together | Source: Unsplash
The following day, we met them at their new apartment. It was a quaint little place, but it was just enough for the two of them. As we walked in, there were boxes lying everywhere and the smell of burnt toast permeated the air.
“I didn’t check the toaster setting,” Roger said, as his way of explaining.
Opened cardboard boxes | Source: Midjourney
We ended up taking them to a café for lunch, where they admitted to their behavior.
“We were in the wrong,” my mother-in-law said. “We know that now. We saw an easy way to live with Tanya, and we just wanted more. But now, we have to make it work for ourselves.”
An interior of a coffee shop | Source: Unsplash
I dug into my pancakes while Cameron let his parents have a piece of his mind. He went on about how they needed to be responsible for their actions and that nothing would make up for their behavior toward my mother.
“You embarrassed me. And you took advantage of my wife’s mother,” he said. “Do you know how that makes me feel?”
A stack of pancakes | Source: Unsplash
I allowed him to talk his way through it, while his parents continued to eat their eggs benedict in silence.
As we drove home, my husband stopped to get my mother a bouquet of flowers.
“She deserves it,” he said.
A bouquet of flowers | Source: Unsplash
What would you have done?
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you |
When Katie discovers that her mother-in-law has been making strange dolls for her daughter, she confronts the old woman, only to discover that she has been holding onto grief for her entire life. But what does that mean for the mysterious dolls? And the little girl who plays with them?
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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