My mother had a clear favorite her entire life, while I was raised by my grandparents mostly. When she got old and sick, I helped financially but refused to do more than that for a crucial reason.
While most good parents would tell you that they don’t have a favorite, my mother was not ashamed to tell me that my brother, Stanley, was her golden boy. My father walked out of our family because caring for two children became too much.
In the end, my mother blamed me for it. “He wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with you,” she told me one day. I was just a child at the time and only wanted my mother’s love.
“But that’s not my fault,” I replied. “I didn’t ask to be born.”
“Don’t talk back to me! I’m the parent, and you’re the kid, so shut up,” she finished. We would have similar conversations through the years whenever she was mad at me. Finally, my mother sent me to live with my paternal grandparents.
They felt so bad that our father had walked away from our lives that they took me in and gave me all the love I never received at home. That’s how I learned that the word family has lots of meanings.
All I heard about my mother and brother over the years was that she helped him with everything. He got into some trouble with the police, and my mother paid all his legal fees. Eventually, she had to sell her house and pay for his apartment.
Stanley was spoiled and couldn’t hold down a job, but my mother coddled him. Meanwhile, my grandparents didn’t have much money, but they gave me everything they could. I had to work to afford my college and my home.
I learned a whole ton of responsibility, and when I graduated, I got a pretty decent job. That’s where I met my husband, Lawrence. We had two daughters whom I cherished equally. When my grandparents got sick, I was there for them until the very end.
They gave me their house, and one of my daughters moved there when she got married. Unfortunately, my husband died shortly after her wedding. She asked me to live with her, but I wanted to stay in our home.
I didn’t hear from my brother or my mother for many years. They didn’t care about me at all, so why should I care about them? But one day, Stanley called. “Hello?” I answered the phone.
“Hey, Brooke. It’s Stanley. How are you?” my brother said through the other line.
“Oh, hey, Stanley. Long time, no speak. I’m fine. How about you?” I replied.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I’m calling because Mom broke her hip. I need your help,” Stanley continued.
“Oh, that’s too bad. Is she ok?” I asked.
“She’s fine. It’s just that the hospital bill will be pretty expensive, and I need help paying for it. She’s our mother after all,” he explained.
“Oh, well. Ok. Give me the details, and I’ll send some money,” I told him. My husband and I had accumulated decent savings, so I could afford to send Stanley some money for whatever our mother needed.
“That’s great, Brooke. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later,” Stanley said and hung up. I didn’t feel any obligation to my mother, but I wasn’t heartless. I sent him the money and forgot about it until a week later when my brother called again.
“Hey, Brooke!” Stanley started.
“Hey. How did everything go?” I asked.
“The operation for her hip went well, but the doctor just told me she’s going to need tons of rehab and round-the-clock care. I was wondering when you could come to pick her up?” my brother asked.
“What do you mean pick her up?” I probed, confused.
“I told you. She needs someone to take care of her. I’ve been by her side our whole lives. It’s time you take responsibility, Brooke. I can’t watch her,” Stanley added.
“Excuse me? Responsibility? Mom sent me to live with our grandparents because she hated me, and you were her golden boy. She essentially abandoned me,” I snapped.
“Please. Stop the melodrama. You need to step up because she needs you. She gave you life. You owe her,” Stanley demanded.
“No. I don’t owe her anything. I needed my mother when I was growing up, and she refused. She gave all her love to you, so you will need to figure out something. I gave you money for her hospital bills out of the goodness of my heart, but I won’t be her caretaker,” I told him.
“YOU’RE HORRIBLE, BROOKE! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? I CAN’T WATCH HER!” Stanley started screaming through the phone.
“Honestly, I don’t care, Stanley. You don’t get to call me horrible. I was a kid when she abandoned me, and my grandparents became my REAL PARENTS. Don’t call me again!” I finished and hung up the call.
Stanley tried calling, texting, e-mailing, and more for several days, but I blocked him. He also tried contacting my daughters, but they refused to listen to him. They knew my history with that side of the family.
Of course, Stanley and my mother bad-mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I have been severely judged for my decision, but I didn’t listen to their criticism. After all, no one ever judged my mother for what she did to me.
What can we learn from this story?
- Caring for your loved ones is important. While Brooke’s choice is controversial, it’s easy to understand her point of view, given her background.
- Forgiveness is divine. Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person. Caring for your parents when they’re old is a big duty, both financially and emotionally. Someone has to do it.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a mother who left her disabled daughter at an orphanage.
My Parents Didn’t Show up for My School Graduation — Their Excuse Is Ridiculous
We all look forward to the significant occasion of high school graduation. It will be a special time in our lives that we want to spend with the people we care about the most.
The young woman named Britt characterized her graduation day as a roller coaster of emotions. Although she was quite proud of herself for having completed high school, she was worried that her stepfather and mother might not be there. In between the excitement and lights of the cameras, she looked around the throng, expecting to find familiar faces.
She kept glancing around as she sat among her peers. “It seems like they’re running late,” she told herself. “Perhaps caught in traffic. They are going to arrive shortly.
Britt looked around while names were announced, and then it was finally her turn to come up to the stage. She grinned widely, holding onto her certificate and hoping to see her stepdad’s applause and her mother’s delighted grin. However, they could not be located.
As she strolled around, she thought, “They must be here somewhere.” At last, Britt checked her phone, understanding they were probably not arriving and weren’t there. A note said, “We’re sorry we couldn’t make it. A situation involving your stepsister arose. Later, we’ll rejoice. Congratulations!
Britt could not believe it. More importantly than her graduation, what might it be? She was furious and anxious, and all she wanted was to go home and find out what had happened.
Her step-sister Iris was well-known for her frequent outbursts and fervent desire for attention, but what could be so serious at this point?
Britt felt a reassuring hand rest on her shoulder as she stood by herself. It was her prom date, Justin. He inquired, “Hey, are you okay?” feeling there was a serious problem.
A lump formed in Britt’s throat, preventing her from speaking. Words did not flow from her lips; tears did.
Britt was pulled into a cozy hug by Justin’s mother, who whispered, “Oh sweetheart, come here.” “We are here for you; you are not alone.”
In an attempt to bridge the gap left by Britt’s parents, Justin and his family tried everything in their power to make her feel valued and included.
Britt went back home after celebrating with Justin’s folks. Her mother and father-in-law were comfortably reclining on the sofa, enjoying television as though it were any ordinary day.
Britt confronted them, enraged, saying, “Hey, where were you guys? You were not present for my graduation. Anger made her voice waver.
Her mother moaned, looking mortified, “Your stepsister broke a nail.” She had a massive fit and insisted that we take her right away to the beauty salon to get it fixed. Britt, she was quite upset.
Britt cried out in shock, “A broken nail? You didn’t attend my graduation because Iris had a tantrum and broke a nail?
“It was an emergency for me,” Iris mumbled, not raising her head.
Britt saw how misaligned her parents’ values were. Though she was aware that Iris was their favorite, this was too much. “Are you serious?” She said, “Do you even realize how much this meant to me?”
Her mother muttered, unable to meet her gaze, “Britt, we’re sorry.” I swear, we’ll celebrate later.
Britt gave it some thinking and concluded it would be better to spend some time away from the house. With a quivering voice, she contacted Justin’s mother, Mrs. Anderson, saying, “Good evening, Mrs. Anderson.” I’m in need of a favor, but how should I ask?
“Go ahead, Brittany. What’s that? Mrs. Anderson gave a kind response.
“Is it okay if I remain with you for a bit? I need to go because my family and I are at odds.
Mrs. Anderson said, “Of course, sweetheart,” without hesitation. Here, you’re always welcome.
After gathering her belongings, Britt went to the front entrance. “I’m going,” she declared. “I need to spend some time away from you and this house.”
It was too late when her mother attempted to stop her.
Britt eventually found an apartment after finding a job in the weeks that followed. Refusing to answer her parents’ calls, she desired no interaction with them.
About to graduate from college, years later, Britt made the decision to offer her parents one last opportunity at forgiveness. Feeling that they owed her this, she called and invited them to her graduation ceremony.
Regretfully, history was repeated. Her mother and stepfather failed to appear on the day she graduated from college. The justification? They became stopped in traffic as Iris, who was pregnant at the time, had a yearning for a cake from a far-off sweet shop. They sent a cheesy text message, just like before.
It was yet another setback from those who were supposed to be Britt’s strongest allies. Justin tracked her down after the ceremony. “They didn’t show up, did they?” he inquired tactfully. “They didn’t,” she whispered.
Since Justin had always supported her, they finally became romantically involved and moved in together. Though Britt was content with her life’s outcome, the pain of her parents’ absence persisted.
In retrospect, Britt discovered that some people will consistently let you down and squander your second chance.
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