I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
My Husband Left Me and Our Baby at the Airport and Took a Solo Vacation, He Deeply Regrets It Now
My husband left me and our baby, Sophia, alone at the airport to go on a vacation by himself. He thought he was going to relax, but his trip quickly turned into a disaster that would make his return home even worse. As I stood at the airport, Sophia cried loudly in my arms. My head throbbed, and I couldn’t help but wonder where Ryan was. I gently rocked her, telling her that Daddy would be back soon, even though I felt increasingly anxious.
Then, my phone pinged with a message from Ryan. He sent a selfie of himself looking happy on the plane, with a caption that said he couldn’t wait and needed this vacation. My heart sank. He had chosen to leave us without a second thought. I couldn’t believe it. Sophia’s cries intensified as if she could sense my frustration. I assured her that we were going home, but I was just as lost as she was.
The cab ride home felt surreal. I kept replaying Ryan’s message in my mind, feeling waves of anger crash over me. Once we were home, I put Sophia down for a nap and grabbed my phone, hesitating before dialing Ryan’s number. I realized I needed a plan first. After pacing the room and letting my ideas flow, I came up with a plan for revenge. I called Ryan’s hotel.
“Hello, Sunset Resort. How may I assist you?” asked a cheerful receptionist. I explained who I was and what had happened. The receptionist listened and eagerly agreed to help with my idea.
I arranged for Ryan to receive wake-up calls at all hours, surprise room service, and every tour possible. I felt a mix of guilt and excitement. Then, I went to our bedroom and packed up Ryan’s favorite things, his gaming console, vinyl records, and designer suits. If he wanted a solo vacation, he could live a solo life.
At the storage facility, I couldn’t help but laugh. Here I was, a new mom, putting my husband’s things in a locker like a jilted teenager. Back home, I called a locksmith for an urgent lock change. While waiting, I checked my phone again. Ryan had sent more pictures of himself enjoying the beach and fancy dinners, but he looked increasingly tired and annoyed.
The locksmith arrived and changed our locks, and I felt a flicker of doubt about my choices. But then I recalled Ryan’s selfish smile in that selfie, and my determination returned. The week passed with me taking care of Sophia while Ryan sent frustrated messages, asking why he was being disturbed at his hotel. I ignored them, letting him stew in his own choices.
Finally, it was time for his return. I picked him up at the airport, where he greeted me sheepishly, saying he missed us. I remained quiet, asking him about his vacation. He sighed, mentioning it was “interesting”. The drive home was tense and silent. As we arrived, he noticed the front door looked different.
He tried his key, but it wouldn’t work. Confusion spread across his face as he turned to me, asking what was happening. I simply said that his key didn’t work anymore because of his decision to leave us. Ryan’s face paled. He tried to explain that it was a misunderstanding and that he didn’t realize how upset I would be. I pointed out that he had left me and our baby at the airport.
He admitted it was selfish and stupid, but wanted to talk inside. I refused, saying his belongings were in storage until he learned to appreciate us. Ryan was desperate and confused, pleading for a chance to talk. I hesitated, feeling torn between my anger and lingering love.
Finally, I agreed to let him talk for five minutes. We sat on the porch steps, with Sophia babbling between us. Ryan took a deep breath and admitted he had messed up. He had panicked because of stress and didn’t know how to face the situation.
As he spoke, my anger began to fade, but I questioned how I could trust him again after what he did. He acknowledged how hurtful his actions were and shared that he missed us every moment. Sophia reached out for Ryan, and I instinctively handed her to him. He held her tightly, expressing his regret. Watching them together, my heart softened.
Ryan promised he would do whatever it took to fix things. I told him it wouldn’t be easy, but he was willing to work on it. I picked Sophia back up and said he could come inside, but he would sleep on the couch, and we’d start couples therapy right away. He looked relieved and promised to make it up to us.
As we walked inside, I reminded him to check his credit card statement since I had ordered those surprise tours. Ryan groaned, but a smile crept onto his face, acknowledging he deserved it.
In the following months, we worked hard in therapy, addressing past issues and slowly rebuilding our trust. One night, while putting Sophia to bed together, Ryan thanked me for giving him another chance. I replied that everyone makes mistakes, and what matters is learning from them.
He hugged me and promised that our next family vacation would be perfect. I suggested we start with a picnic in the park. Standing there, watching our daughter sleep, I realized that even after significant betrayals, strong bonds could form if both people are willing to put in the effort.
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