Some people dream, some don’t, or at least they don’t remember doing so.
But do dreams mean anything? Well, while people are convinced dreams are a form of messages received by forces we are unable to see or feel while wide awake, some scientists claim that dreams are simply a result of neuronal processes taking place within our brain.
While we are asleep, our brains are anything but.
Sometimes, dreams happen as a reflection of the day that passed, and other times they represent our fears. But what does it mean when we dream of a deceased person?
These dreams can be seen as part of the process of grieving or a transition that takes place in our own life. According to Healthline, it has to do with the latter.
These dreams are common when we experience certain changes, such as getting a new job, moving places, or meeting someone new.
What is most important than the dream itself, however, is how it make us feel.
Rubin Naiman, who has a Ph.D. in psychology, spent years of his life studying sleep patterns and habits. According to him, “Dream interpretation is about decoding the dream. It enlightens us and expands our awareness psychologically, [offering an] expansion of consciousness.”
So, dreaming of someone who is no longer alive may be related to the changes mentioned above and how those changes affect us.
”A lot of contemporary neuroscientists believe during REM sleep, the brain is involved in maintenance tasks, and it accidentally ‘kicks up dust,’ visually. At that end, dreaming is considered totally meaningless.” On the other hand he explains, “The other end is that dreaming is more substantial than waking. And we see this in ‘dream cultures,’ such as the indigenous people of Australia, who believe dreaming is intrinsic to our spiritual existence.”
Experts place these dreams into four categories.
- First, dreaming of a deceased person may be interpreted as the brain trying to work through the pain of the loss.
- If we hadn’t made amends with the deceased person before their passing, we may feel guilt and that might be the reason why they visit us in our dreams.
- According to Lauri Loewenberg, a dream analyst, we may be dreaming of a deceased person if we see some of their behaviors, such as substance abuse or else, in ourselves.
- There are experts who believe that these dreams represent a visitation from the deceased person, especially if we see them in a good condition in our dream, meaning they are well dressed or seem happy. If we feel good about the dream, it may mean that the deceased person says ‘Hello.’
No matter what we feel about dreams, the truth is that they offer something deep and meaningful. They often give us insight into the soul and our connection with the deceased person that we see in our dreams.
All My Life My Father Blamed Me for My Mother’s Passing, Then He Gets Taught a Lesson – Story of the Day
I grew up believing that my father blamed me for my mother’s death but the truth was heartbreaking.
I never knew my mother, and my father never spoke about her. All I knew was that she had been very beautiful, because of the picture that hung on my father’s study wall, and that she had died very young.
My father was a sad man, a quiet and distant man. I wanted him to notice me, and to love me, but he never did. He rarely spoke to me beyond the perfunctory hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight. I would have given anything for him to sweep me into his arms and tell me he loved me.
The shadow of my mother’s death followed me my whole life | Source: Shutterstock.com
This strange and strained relationship with my father continued until I was 18, and by then I was a sad and lonely young woman who believed my father hated me. If my father didn’t love me, who would?
But the answer to all my questions was about to be delivered in the most painful and cruel way. My father was hosting a party for his business associates, and among them was a woman whom I knew slightly.
If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future.
I had the feeling that she and my father had a past together — or at least that she wished they did. She greeted me and we started chatting — inconsequential talk about nothing special — and my father walked by.
I gave him my best smile, but he immediately glanced away. The woman saw it all. “Do you know why?” she asked.
I grew up feeling that my father hated me | Source: Unsplash
“Why what?” I asked, confused.
“Why he hates you,” she said.
“My father doesn’t hate me!” I exclaimed. “He’s just not a very demonstrative man.”
“So you don’t know…” she smiled. It was the ugliest smile I’d ever seen. I was about to walk away when she said, “He believes you killed your mother, Karen.”
One day at a party someone told me the truth | Source: Unsplash
I stopped in my tracks. “What?” I gasped.
“Your mother died giving birth to you, surely you know that?” she said.
“No…” I answered. “No, I didn’t know.” I turned my back on her and went looking for my grandmother, my father’s mother, the woman who’d raised me and never told me about my mother’s death.
“How did my mother die?” I asked her angrily. “Was it in childbirth?”
My mother had died in childbirth | Source: Pexels
My grandmother shook her head. “Please Karen, your father asked me never to speak of this with you.”
“I have the right to know about my own mother!” I cried. “I have the right to know why my father hates me!”
Then a quiet angry voice behind me said, “I don’t hate you, Karen, but your mother’s death is none of your business:”
I turned to face my father. “My mother’s death is none of my business? You’re wrong! I killed her, didn’t I? That’s what you think each time you look at me!”
My father blamed me for her death | Source: Unsplash
The expression in his eyes sent me running out of the door. I got into my car and drove aimlessly, tears running down my face. In my distress, I didn’t see the oncoming car changing lanes until it was too late.
I woke up in the hospital linked to a beeping machine, with a dull promise of pain twinging through my whole body. Sitting by my side and holding my hand was my father.
“Karen,” he said softly, “Thank God you’re alright!”
“Daddy…” I whispered, “you’re here!”
Tears came into his eyes. “Of course I’m here. I don’t hate you, Karen. I love you. And I don’t blame you for your mother’s death, I blame myself. When your mom and I married we were very poor.
“All we had were dreams and our love for each other. Then she fell pregnant and I took on a second job. I knew we’d need the money when you came along. I was working 16-hour days and she spent a lot of time alone.
“So one day when I came home she wasn’t there. A neighbor had taken her to the hospital. When I got there it was all over. Your mother had died, and I hadn’t been there for her.
The accident nearly cost me my life | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t blame you, Karen, I blamed myself. I was determined I wasn’t going to fail you the way I’d failed her, so I threw myself into my work, and I became a rich man.
“Daddy, how could you blame yourself?” I asked. “There was nothing you could have done!”
“I could have been there, holding her hand the way I’m holding yours now,” he said.
“But daddy…” I hesitated, “you were always so angry with me, so cold. You ran away from me.”
My father and I were reconciled | Source: Unsplash
“Karen, you look just like your mother, and each time I looked at you, my heart was torn apart by grief and guilt. It took nearly losing you to make me realize what I’d done. I love you.”
For the first time in my life, my father put his arms around me and showed me that he loved me. It was a new beginning for both of us, and I like to believe my mother was smiling down from heaven.
What can we learn from this story?
- If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future. Karen’s father was so lost in his pain that he nearly lost the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with his daughter.
- The truth can heal old wounds and open the way to a new beginning. It was only after Karen and her father spoke about their estrangement that they could move past their misunderstandings.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who left his widowed mother homeless.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story but written by a professional writer. All names have been changed to protect identities and ensure privacy. Share your story with us, maybe it will change someone’s life.
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