While celebrating a new life and transitioning into a new role, a mother found herself struggling to get a moment alone after she welcomed her daughter. A time that was meant to be exciting for her and her husband led to them having a big fight over their parenting roles.
In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, a mother found herself longing for a mere moment of quietness and alone time. She took to Reddit to share her frustrations. She started off by explaining that she had only had her child for two weeks. Her daughter was strictly breastfeeding, but in addition to cluster feeding, she realized her daughter found comfort in being close to her.
A mother holding her new born | Source: Shutterstock
This meant that her new role allowed her little to no time alone. “I’ve showered once by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she was crying and my husband was bringing her into the bathroom with me. I think I literally had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.
On the contrary, she noticed her husband’s life had not changed. He still got to have long and uninterrupted showers every day but never understood why his showers frustrated his wife.
Each time she was in the shower, and the baby would cry, her husband would bring their newborn to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he did not even try to calm the baby down on his own, but his excuse was that the child loved showers, and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
As sweet as his fears sounded, the Redditor still needed to find a way to get a full self-care routine without a baby being handed over to her. So, she decided to call in help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter as she showered. Her husband was not there when she reached out to her child’s grandmother, but when he arrived, he asked what his mother-in-law was doing at their house.
Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife’s decision to call her mother just to take a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked, to which the Redditor responded, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes of me being in here because you don’t even try to calm her down.”
A mother with her baby | Source: Shutterstock
Therefore, after five days of trying to shave her legs, she could not wait to enjoy the warm water hitting her body and relaxing her muscles. “I need to self-care,” the Redditor emphasized.
The original poster’s honest account of her experience as a new mother erupted in a chorus of voices from commenters sharing their own experiences and offering support. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic and suggested, “If, according to hubby, showers calm her down, why isn’t he taking her on his 30-60 minute showers?”
A mother looking stressed with her child | Source: Shutterstock
Another suggestion was for the OP to lock the door as a temporary solution and to teach her husband a lesson on respecting someone’s privacy. Another Reddit user said the husband made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law, but it was time he realized that he could also parent his daughter without always running to his wife.
The discussion took a deeper dive into the dynamics of communication and support within the relationship. Commenters pointed out the absurdity that the husband had been more concerned about his wife calling her mother rather than making sure that his wife’s well-being was attended to. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you; he’s just worried about how it looks to your mum,” remarked a commenter.
A man sitting next to a crib looking stressed | Source: Shutterstock
One mother said her husband once interrupted her hair appointment but she had a serious conversation with him and made him look back at the number of haircuts he had had since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency, so the commenter advised the OP to have the same stern conversation with her husband.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
Another commenter shared a personal story of how her husband had slacked at the beginning of their parenting journey and how she eventually found a way to work as a team. The mother said her baby was a bit fussy on the first night home and she would always take the lead and calm her down.
But after three days, she put on earplugs and requested her husband only wake her up when the baby needed a feed and let her partner take care of the baby during the night, which led to a more equitable parenting dynamic.
The commenter added that allocating responsibilities helped them both understand the difficulty and joy of caring for a newborn, but it also allowed them to foster empathy and understanding. “That night, my partner became an equal parent,” the commenter added.
Here is a story about a newborn who cried nonstop no matter what the parents did. But they eventually realized the answer to their child’s misery was in the crib.
After 10 years, mother returns to the abandoned home where she had left her one-year-old kid and discovers something that makes her cry
Over ten years ago, something terrible happened in Yaroslavl, a Russian City.
One day quite some time ago, a neighbor heard that a baby was crying in a house not far away, but at the time he didn’t think about it a whole lot and went back to his daily life.
In the days that proceeded, he noticed that the baby continued to cry inconsolably, even though no one had seen any signs of life from the house, there were never lights on or any sign of activity at all.
The neighbors really started to worry and called the police to investigate.
When the police got into the house it was derelict and empty, the people who had lived there before had taken all their things, cleared the house, and disappeared.
The only thing that was left in the house was their own little baby, how awful!
The little girl was one year old and they found her on a dirty cold floor all on her own for many days!!
The authorities investigated further and discovered that the baby was called Liza Verbitskaya, although her parents were nowhere to be seen, in fact, no one could find them or knew where they were.
Little Liza was taken to a doctor and she recovered in the hospital for a good number of days to make sure she really was nursed back to health after her ordeal.
While she was in the hospital there was a woman called Inna Nika, she was there looking after her sick son and was there day and night.
One particular day she happened to hear a scream from the hospital room next door and had a look inside the room, out of curiosity and concern, to see what was going on. Little Liza was there in the room and Inna felt a maternal pull toward the little girl.
From that day forth, Inna visited Liza every day and came with clothes, food and toys for her.
Inna was about to visit Liza one day, like every other day, but Liza was not there, she had gone. She found out that the little girl was thought to be strong enough to be released from care at the hospital to an orphanage.
Inna felt so empty and really yearned to be reunited with the little girl again, so much so that she made the decision to go and find her!
When she did find her she felt that there was no doubt in her mind, she wanted to adopt the little girl. Inna began the adoption process as soon as she could and after a lot of paperwork Liza was given permission to live with Inna and her family, where she loved her like one of her own.
When Inna adopted Liza, with the paperwork and delays, she was nearly two. She was so afraid of loud noises she couldn’t chew food! She had been very traumatized…
Inna was more determined than ever to give the little girl the ware and love that she had always needed and her dark times were clearly in the past.
Liza found it difficult to learn to walk, but as she got older Inna joined her with a dance school, she hoped that she would become more comfortable in herself and it would bring her out of her shell.
Exactly why, nobody will be 100% sure, but with all the love and the care she received from her adopted mom, it wasn’t long before Liza bloomed like another girl of her age.
Liza was really dark skinned unlike her siblings and stuck out like a sore thumb, it really was not easy as she began to grow up. Inna always said to her daughter that she should never listen to others as they are easily driven by jealousy.
The now teenage Liza has won several beauty contests, many talents show and worked her first job as a fashion model. Such an amazing contrast to how her life started and how she has succeeded!
Leave a Reply