I Found Receipts for Thousands of Dollars in Dresses and Jewelry in My Husband’s Drawer — The Truth behind Them Broke My Heart
Carla thought she had everything nailed down with her perfect husband Andrew and their lively bunch of kids. But things got weird when she found receipts for fancy gifts in Andrew’s drawer—none of which were for her. As she digs deeper, what she uncovers could shake up everything she thought she knew about trust and loyalty.
A pile of receipts | Source: Flickr
Hey everyone, I’m Carla, and I guess I’m here because I really need to sort out my thoughts and maybe get some of your perspectives. I’m 28, married to the love of my life, Andrew, who’s 34. We’ve been together for almost a decade now, and honestly, he’s been nothing short of amazing.
Man giving a grateful woman a gift | Source: Pixabay
We have three adorable little ones—ages 6, 3, and 2—and I’m currently expecting our fourth. You could say our home is always bustling with energy and tiny giggles, which I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Little girl kissing a pregnant belly | Source: Pexels
Andrew has been an incredible partner through and through. He’s the kind of dad who’s not only present but really involved. He does school runs, helps with homework, and can get all the kids bathed and in bed almost as well as I can.
Man assisting a little girl with schoolwork | Source: Pixabay
And as a husband? He’s been my rock, especially during this pregnancy, which has honestly been a bit tougher than the last ones. But here’s where things got complicated.
Man kissing a pregnant woman’s belly | Source: Pixabay
Recently, I decided to do a big clean-up, you know, to make room for our new bundle of joy. It was going pretty smoothly until I opened one of Andrew’s drawers looking for some old photographs.
A desk with drawers | Source: Pixabay
Instead of pictures, I found a bunch of receipts tucked away under some papers. These weren’t just any receipts—they were for thousands of dollars’ worth of fancy dresses and jewelry. And none of it was ever gifted to me.
A woman looking at a piece of paper on a desk | Source: Pexels
I can’t even describe how I felt at that moment, my heart just sank. I started piecing things together in my head, and all signs pointed to something I never imagined: was Andrew cheating on me? It felt like my perfect little world was just starting to crumble around me.
Woman in shock | Source: Shutterstock
That evening was one of the longest of my life. I was a mess of nerves and anxiety, pacing back and forth in our bedroom, waiting for Andrew to come home.
The receipts lay spread out on our bed like some sort of accusation, each one a sharp reminder of my growing doubts. I rehearsed what I would say, how I would confront him, but when I finally heard the garage door open, all my plans just dissolved into a wave of fear and sadness.
Pregnant woman sitting on a chair with a dog by her feet | Source: Pixabay
Andrew walked into our bedroom, cheerful as he usually is after work, ready to tell me about his day, but he stopped mid-sentence when he saw the receipts and the look on my face.
“Carla, what’s wrong?” he asked, his smile fading into confusion and then concern as he picked up one of the receipts.
Man in a suit enters room with a serious expression | Source: Pexels
“Why, Andrew? All these receipts for fancy stuff, and none of it’s for me? What’s going on?” My voice was shaky, the hurt clear in my tone as I confronted him with the evidence strewn across our bed.
Woman with an expression of shock and confusion | Source: Shutterstock
Andrew’s face went from confused to pale as he quickly picked up one of the receipts. “Oh, Carla… I can explain. Please, just hear me out,” he said, his voice full of worry, not the guilt I was bracing myself for.
“Explain? Andrew, are these for someone else? Are you… seeing someone?” The words tasted bitter, and I struggled to hold back tears.
Man leaning forward with his hands joined together | Source: Pexels
“No, no, not at all, Carla. These aren’t what you think. They’re not for a lover or anything like that.” He stepped closer, his hands reaching out, but I wasn’t ready to be comforted, not yet. “Remember Jenny’s sister, Angela? I’ve been helping her out.”
“Angela?” My voice cracked, a mix of confusion and a flicker of relief starting to pierce the initial shock.
Woman looking confused | Source: Shutterstock
“Yeah, Angela. You know, Jenny’s little sister. After Jenny died, her family kind of fell apart. Angela’s mom went to prison, and things just got worse from there. I’ve known Angela since she was a baby. She needed someone, and I was able to help. So I did.” His eyes pleaded for understanding.
A young woman looking afar | Source: Pixabay
He explained how he’d been quietly looking out for her, making sure she had what she needed to feel normal—prom dresses, a car for her 16th birthday, a little sparkle for her graduation—stuff that made her happy, made her feel valued in a world that hadn’t been kind.
A young girl hugging the hood of a blue car | Source: Freepik
“Why keep this a secret from me?” I finally asked, the initial shock giving way to a tangled feeling of relief and concern.
“I thought I was protecting you—from extra stress, from worrying over this. I wanted to handle it myself.” He looked sincere, earnest.
Man bowing down in sorrow | Source: Shutterstock
I took his hand, finally, feeling the old, familiar comfort in his touch. But inside, my thoughts were a whirlwind of emotions—grateful for his honesty, yet overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of what he’d been doing all this time.
A man and woman holding hands | Source: Pexels
As Andrew finished explaining, I felt this huge wave of emotions crashing over me. Relief, confusion, a bit of anger, and a whole lot of surprise.
I mean, here was my husband, a guy who’s already super dad and super hubby, also playing hero to a girl who’s had a rough life. It’s sweet, it’s noble, but also, why didn’t I know any of this?
Woman looking bothered | Source: Shutterstock
I had to sit down. My mind was racing, trying to process everything. “Andrew, I just… This is a lot. You’ve been like a father to her?”
“Yeah, I guess I have,” he admitted, sitting beside me. He looked drained, like a weight was lifted but another was put right back on. “Angela’s been through so much, Carla. And I was there through all of it. I just wanted to make sure she had opportunities, just like our kids.”
Distraught man wraps his arm around a distraught woman | Source: Shutterstock
I understood that, I really did. But there was this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. “And now a wedding, and a house? Andrew, that’s huge. That’s like… our kids’ college fund huge.”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I know, I know it sounds like a lot. But Clara’s wedding is important to her, and the house, it’s not just any house. It’s a start for her new life with her husband. I want to give her that.”
Bride looking happy on her wedding day | Source: Pixabay
“But what about us? Our family?” I asked, my voice shaky. I mean, we’re doing okay financially, but we aren’t millionaires. Our youngest has had health issues, and those bills aren’t small. We have plans, savings for the kids’ schools, their future.
Woman gesturing as if explaining | Source: Pexels
Andrew turned to me, his eyes earnest. “Carla, I promise, this isn’t going to hurt us. I’ve got it figured out. Angela is like family too, and I can’t turn my back on her, not when I have the means to help.”
Man explaining to a woman | Source: Pexels
His conviction was clear, and it tugged at my heart. He was doing something wonderful, but at what cost? I was torn between admiring the man I love and worrying about whether his generosity might stretch us too thin.
Woman in deep thought | Source: Pexels
“Andrew, I love how big your heart is, but we need to think about balance,” I said softly, trying to keep the peace but needing to be honest about my fears. “Our kids, our baby on the way, they have to come first. We need a plan, something that includes Angela but also protects our family.”
Woman with her palms up as she speaks | Source: Pexels
“Yeah, you’re right. We should have a plan,” he agreed, nodding slowly. “I should have talked to you about this a long time ago. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
A man looking pensive seated on a chair | Source: Pexels
Sitting there with Andrew, still holding hands, I felt like my head was spinning. “We’ve really got to get our budget straight, especially with the new baby almost here,” I said, trying to steady my voice.
“Yeah, I know,” Andrew replied, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll figure this out together.”
Two hands holding a pregnant belly | Source: Pexels
That helped, but there was a whole tangle of feelings inside me that wasn’t so easy to smooth out. “We need to set some clear boundaries, Andrew. It’s great that you want to help Angela, but our kids have to come first. They depend on us.”
Man touching his pregnant wife’s belly as they stare at each other | Source: Pexels
Andrew nodded, looking thoughtful. “You’re right. I guess I’ve let things slide too far. I wanted to give Angela the chances Jenny never had. But I see now, it’s gotten out of hand.”
Man looking sullen | Source: Pexels
It was a relief to hear him say that, but it didn’t fix everything right away. How do you balance helping someone you care about with taking care of your own family? Where do you draw the line?
“We’ll work out a plan,” he said, trying to sound confident. But I could tell he was as torn as I was. This wasn’t just about money; it was about his past, about loyalty, and about doing the right thing without letting it hurt our family.
Man gesturing to a woman listening to him | Source: Pexels
We sat there in the quiet, long after the kids were asleep, not saying much as we both lost ourselves in thought. I knew Andrew had been dealing with this alone for a long time, and now that I was in on it, the responsibility felt both heavy and important.
Man and woman sitting in silence as the woman cuts up some grapes | Source: Pexels
I still wasn’t sure what the right answer was. How do we make sure our family’s needs are met without turning our backs on Angela? It felt like we were at a crossroads, and I really wasn’t sure which way was the right way to go.
Woman looking out the window | Source: Pexels
What would you do in my shoes? Should I ask Andrew to dial it back with helping Angela, given everything going on with our family right now? How do you choose between supporting someone who’s practically family, even if not by blood, and taking care of your own family’s immediate needs?
I’m really curious to hear your thoughts. Would you put your foot down, or would you find a way to keep supporting both our kids and Angela without hesitation? How do you balance the past that’s shaped your present with the future you need to build for your children?
A family watching the sunset | Source: Pixabay
Would you put your foot down, or just try to keep supporting both our kids and Angela without missing a beat? How do you juggle the stuff from the past that still hangs around with the future you’re trying to build for your kids?
Thanks for listening, and I appreciate any advice or experiences you might want to share.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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