My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Drew Barrymore and her grandfather’s friend Vincent Price together in 1984…Check c,o,m,m,e,n,t,s below
Even though there are dozens of different experts that work on the appearances of characters in movies, they aren’t immune to making mistakes. And in the end, viewers may catch these fails in makeup or costume choices that couldn’t have possibly existed during the time in which the movie was set.
We at Bright Side decided to watch some of our favorite movies and read some fashion history books to find the mistakes makeup artists and costume designers have made in popular films.
Gone with the Wind
No matter how trendy Scarlett O’Hara was, she couldn’t have predicted the clothing trends for decades in advance. Her famous slim-fitting red dress with feathers and rhinestones has nothing to do with Civil War fashion — it was inspired more by styles from the 1930s and 1940s.
Julius Caesar
In the 1953 film, most of the female characters wore extravagant bullet bras. In Ancient Rome, women would wear a strophium, a prototype for the modern bra, but these weren’t bullet bras.
Legends of the Fall
Trying to create a romantic look, costume designers ignored the historical facts. Brad Pitt’s character has beautiful blonde hair and facial hair but these things were unacceptable for the time period. More and more men were choosing to don big mustaches and short hair at this time.
King Arthur
The film, which is set in the fifth century, portrays knights in heavy metal armor. But until the fourteenth century, such armor was made of leather, and only mail armor was made of metal.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The film is about events that happened in the ’90s and the clothes look pretty accurate, however, they’re still not perfect. Dudley Dursley is wearing G-Unit shorts — a brand that was created by 50 Cent in 2003.
Hello, Dolly!
The movie is set in New York at the end of the nineteenth century when such a hairstyle, lip gloss, and eye makeup didn’t exist. But the movie still got 3 Oscars and became one of the most important films of the decade.
Queen Margot
Throughout the entire film, the characters are wearing beautiful dresses with open shoulders. They look great but in the sixteenth century, women never ignored shifts (or chemise in French). These pieces of clothing protected them from the cold, absorbed sweat, and were really easy to wash.
Another mistake costume designers made was the way the main character’s hair was let down. Based on the few portraits we have of Margaret of Valois, she had curly hair that she wore up.
The Danish Girl
The Danish Girl starts in 1926 but in the first half of the film, we see women in slim-fitting clothes that have nothing to do with the fashion of the 1920s.
At the beginning of the film, Gerda has a hairstyle that was actually quite outdated for the setting that favored waved or bobbed hair.
A Dangerous Method
In one scene, Keira Knightley appears only in her corset, which is a contradiction to the original rules that came along with wearing this piece of clothing. A woman would never wear a corset alone.
Bonus: Mary Queen of Scots
In Mary Queen of Scots, Saoirse Ronan is wearing asymmetric earrings, which were non-existent in sixteenth-century Scotland.
In your opinion, do you think such mistakes are serious or no big deal?
Preview photo credit A Dangerous Method / Recorded Picture Company
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