It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
My mother-in-law converted our adopted son’s bedroom into her personal library during our absence, the stern lesson I imparted was severe
The unexpected redesign of our adopted son’s room by my mother-in-law sent shockwaves through our family. The events that followed revealed hidden feelings and truths we hadn’t acknowledged, taking us on a tumultuous journey filled with love, betrayal, and hard-earned lessons that would forever change our family dynamics.
For weeks, I had dedicated myself to creating the perfect space for Max. The joy of finally adopting him had Garrett and me brimming with excitement as we decorated the room with posters of dinosaurs and spaceships, arranged stuffed animals, and stocked the bookshelves with bright, engaging stories.
After putting in so much effort, I turned to Garrett, seeking his reassurance about our work. He wrapped an arm around me and smiled, expressing his belief that Max would adore the room.
Our moment was abruptly interrupted by a knock. Vivian, Garrett’s mother, peeked inside, her expression a mix of surprise and skepticism. She scanned the room, and I felt a wave of unease wash over me as she offered a backhanded compliment about how “vibrant” it looked.
As her gaze fell on the carefully arranged toys, a calculating look crossed her face. She suggested that the room might serve better as a reading nook, implying that Max needed some “intellectual stimulation” to unlock his potential. Her comments felt patronizing, a thinly veiled attempt to take over a space we had lovingly crafted for our son. Garrett and I exchanged concerned glances, sensing the brewing tension. It became increasingly apparent that Vivian’s presence in our home was becoming more of a strain than a comfort.
Garrett attempted to assert our authority as parents, reminding his mother that Max was now part of our family. Vivian, however, dismissed his concerns with a wave of her hand, hinting that her connection to him as his grandmother should hold more weight.
As I held back my frustration, I recalled that Vivian was still grieving her husband’s recent death. She had been living with us, and while we thought it would help her heal, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were headed for conflict.
The day before our anniversary getaway, we exchanged hurried goodbyes with Max. His anxious expression tugged at my heart. As my sister Zoe arrived to take care of him while we were away, I noticed Vivian watching from the window, her face unreadable.
Our trip was beautiful, filled with romantic dinners and scenic walks. Yet, an unsettling feeling lingered in the back of my mind. I couldn’t help but worry about what was happening at home. Once we returned, the moment we stepped inside, something felt off. A strange odor wafted through the air. As we made our way upstairs, my stomach sank with each step.
Reaching Max’s room, I stood frozen in disbelief. The bright colors and cheerful décor were gone, replaced by stark bookshelves, a plush chair, and a muted daybed. The walls had lost their vibrant blue hue, leaving a bland beige in its wake.
Garrett’s shocked outburst echoed my feelings as Vivian appeared, her face alight with pride. She called it a surprise, completely oblivious to the destruction she had wrought. I demanded to know where Max’s toys had gone, my anger bubbling to the surface.
Vivian shrugged, claiming that the room now had a “sophisticated” touch that Max needed. I was furious; this was a space meant for a seven-year-old, not a study for an adult. Garrett tried to reason with his mother, but she continued to insist that the changes were for the best. I felt my emotions boiling over as I wondered how she could be so dismissive of our son’s needs.
After Vivian left the room, I collapsed onto the daybed, overwhelmed by the situation. Garrett joined me, sighing in frustration, and we both realized that it was time to establish some boundaries with his mother.
I began to devise a plan. For the next few days, I played the part of the grateful daughter-in-law, expressing my appreciation for her “help” while secretly plotting our response. One morning, I suggested to Vivian that we treat her to a spa day and a special dinner, feigning warmth in my tone. She was thrilled, and as soon as she left, Garrett and I sprang into action.
We transformed her cherished garden into a chaotic playground, uprooting her beloved flowers to make space for a sandbox and scattering toys throughout the area. We even added a small slide, turning her sanctuary into a vibrant play space.
When Vivian returned, I greeted her at the door with an overly cheerful demeanor and a blindfold. As we led her outside, I could barely contain my excitement. Once she stood in front of her wrecked garden, we removed the blindfold. Silence enveloped us for a moment before she gasped in horror at the sight before her.
I feigned innocence, asking if she liked the “playful” new touch. Her horrified response confirmed what I already knew—she had no idea how her actions had affected us, just as we had shown little regard for her beloved garden.
Garrett stepped in to explain that we hadn’t destroyed anything; we had simply repurposed it, much like she had done to Max’s room. The realization hit her hard, and she began to understand the gravity of her decisions.
Tears filled her eyes as she realized the parallel between Max’s room and her garden. We spent the evening in heartfelt conversation, discussing her fears of being replaced and how we could better include her in our family dynamics.
By the end of the night, we had a plan: together, we would restore Max’s room, and Vivian would help us explain the situation to him. She also agreed to seek support for her grief, a step towards healing that we all needed. The following day, we worked together to bring Max’s room back to life. Just as we finished hanging the last poster, we heard his voice calling from the front door.
When Max burst into the room, his face lit up with joy, and he rushed into my arms, relieved to see his space returned to him. I exchanged a knowing glance with Vivian, who offered me a small, remorseful smile. It was a moment of understanding and healing.
That night, we all snuggled together in Max’s room for bedtime stories. As I looked around at my family, I realized that sometimes the most challenging experiences lead to the most profound realizations about love, family, and acceptance.
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