I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
Rising Music Sensation Nell Smith Passes Away at Just 17 After Collaborating with The Flaming Lips
The death of young musician Nell Smith has left a deep impact on both the music world and the public. At just 17, Nell passed away on Saturday night, October 5, in British Columbia. Along with her family, many well-known musicians have expressed their sadness and shock over her sudden death.
Nell was about to release her first solo album next year. The album, which she recorded in Brighton, was going to be released by Bella Union, an independent record label. Despite her young age, she had already achieved a lot in her music career. Her passing happened just as her career was set to soar.
Simon Raymonde, co-owner of Bella Union and the producer of Nell’s upcoming album, shared his grief on Instagram. He posted photos of Nell, along with a heartfelt message. The photos were given to him by Nell’s family and musician Warren Ellis. One of the images showed Nell and her brother, Ike, in a tender family moment. Another picture showed Nell standing on a beach, deep in thought, with her guitar. Simon mentioned this was taken when she wrote one of her first songs on Vancouver Island.
There were also photos of Nell with The Flaming Lips’ lead singer, Wayne Coyne, who she had collaborated with on a project in 2021. Another image captured the moment Nell saw her blue vinyl record “Where The Viaduct Looms” for the first time, her smile showing how proud she was of her work.
Simon’s last photo showed Nell and Warren Ellis sharing a close moment, with Nell wrapping her arms around the musician. Warren held what looked like Nell’s mixtape, a symbol of her early passion for music.
In his post, Simon expressed that, out of respect for Nell’s family, he couldn’t share more details at the time. He spoke about her talent and the incredible things she had already accomplished as a young artist.
Nell’s family also shared their sadness on Instagram. They posted a series of photos, remembering special moments they had shared with Nell. Alongside the photos, they wrote a heartfelt message: “Our feisty, talented, unique, beautiful daughter was taken from us too soon. We are heartbroken and don’t know what to do or say.” They added that while Nell had so much more to give to the world, they were thankful for all she had experienced in her 17 years. Her family asked for privacy as they dealt with the tragedy, signing off with their names: Jude, Rachel, Jed, and Ike.
Music producer Howard Redekopp, who had worked with Nell on her upcoming album, also shared a tribute on social media. Posting photos of the two of them, Howard wrote about how much he valued the time they spent together, even though it was brief. He praised Nell as a rare and extraordinary talent, and shared how heartbroken he was that she wouldn’t be able to see the lasting influence her music would have. He ended his post by sending love to Nell’s family and friends.
Musician Micah Nelson, son of the legendary Willie Nelson, also paid tribute to Nell on Instagram. He shared images of the two of them playing music together and wrote about the tragedy of her passing. He described Nell as a bright and talented person, full of promise, and shared his sympathy with her family.
Fans have also reacted strongly to the news of Nell’s passing. One fan, posting on Threads, shared a photo from a recent Flaming Lips concert in Portland where the band’s lead singer Wayne Coyne had announced her death. The fan mentioned that Nell had died in a car accident.
A video clip from the concert showed Wayne Coyne breaking the sad news to the audience. He spoke emotionally about his relationship with Nell and their work together on the album “Where The Viaduct Looms.” Wayne struggled to hold back tears as he told the crowd that Nell had died the night before. The audience responded with cheers of love and support, as Wayne reflected on the importance of music and the people we love.
Nell’s connection with The Flaming Lips began in 2018 when she attended one of their concerts. She managed to get a letter to the band on their tour bus, which caught Wayne’s attention. From there, he stayed in contact with Nell’s parents as she began learning to play guitar. By the time she was 11, Nell was performing live, writing her own music, and playing alongside other well-known artists.
Rest in peace, Nell. Our thoughts are with her family, friends, and everyone who knew and loved her during this difficult time.
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