Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Queen Camilla will take a break from her royal duties after King Charles cancer diagnosis
With Harry and Meghan stepping down from their royal duties and prince Andrew getting estranged from the family, the number of working royals has reduced significantly. Sadly, during the recent months that number lowered even further after Kate Middleton underwent what was described as a “planned” abdominal surgery and King Charles was diagnosed with cancer, forcing both of them to take some time off.
Kate is expected to return to her royal duties not earlier than Easter, while the King shares his time between London, where he receives weekly treatments, and Sandringham, the royal estate in Norfolk, England.
While both royals either cleared their schedules or postponed certain royal engagements, their significant others, as well as other members of the royal family stepped in for them.
Queen Camilla had a tough few weeks where she had to take on a lot of responsibility for the royal family. Among the rest, she led the royal family at the memorial service for the late King Constantine of Greece, and now, according to the Palace, she would also be taking a week off
Camilla is expected to return to her regular duties on March 11, when she is scheduled to lead the Royal Family at Westminster Abbey for the Commonwealth Day service.
During her week off, she would be spending her time with her husband, the King, and the rest of the members of the Firm.
King Charles was diagnosed with a type of cancer following the surgery for an enlarged prostate, but no details have been revealed of the type of the stage of the cancer.
The King himself released a statement recently, thanking everyone for their well-wishes, and then took his time to thank his people once again during his meeting with Prime Minister Rishi Sunak.
When it comes to Kate, the Palace reassured those doubting the severity of her condition with a statement that read, “We were very clear from the outset that the Princess of Wales was out until after Easter and Kensington Palace would only be providing updates when something was significant.”
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“I’ve had so many wonderful messages and cards. It’s reduced me to tears most of the time,” King Charles told Sunak.
“I hear there’s been a lot more attention and interest on those main, wonderful cancer charities, many of which I’ve been patron for years,” he added and laughed.
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