Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Kevin Bacon and Wife Find True Happiness After Losing Fortune and Moving to a Farm!
When we think of strong, loving Hollywood couples, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick come to mind.
They have been married for over 30 years, celebrating their 35th anniversary this year with a sweet throwback photo on social media.
Despite their long careers in the entertainment industry, there was a time when they lost millions…
In 2009, their lives turned upside down when they got caught in Bernie Madoff’s infamous Ponzi scheme, which was the largest in history. This scam cost them up to $30 million, as estimated by StyleCaster. Bacon mentioned on the SmartLess podcast that they lost “most of our money.”
They were just two of many celebrities and high-profile figures who were scammed by Madoff’s “too good to be true” financial schemes.
“There are obvious life lessons here. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is,” Bacon told hosts Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes. “When something like that happens, you look at each other and say, ‘Well, that sucks. Let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work.’”
Despite the setback, 65-year-old Bacon and 58-year-old Sedgwick used the adversity as an opportunity to reflect and focus on the positives. “We’ve made it this far, our kids are healthy, we’re healthy. Let’s look at what we have that’s good,” Bacon said on the October 2022 podcast.
Bacon and Sedgwick decided to step away from the spotlight and Hollywood, finding peace and happiness on a cozy farm in Connecticut.
Over time, they shared glimpses of their daily lives on social media. Sedgwick posted so many videos of her and their goats on TikTok that people now recognize her more for that than her acting roles!
“People say, ‘We love you singing with the goats.’ Kevin and I are like, ‘Great, but have you seen our movies or TV shows?’ But it makes people happy,” the actress and producer told People in March this year.
Interestingly, Bacon and Sedgwick aren’t the only celebs drawn to farm life. In fact, famed actress Jennifer Garner decided to buy back the farm her mother grew up on and transform it into an organic produce project for baby food.
What do you think of celebs gravitating towards farm life? Do you think it would be a nice break from the fast-paced Hollywood experience? Let us know in the comments!
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