Ryder’s 18th birthday should have been a memorable day, but his father’s absence left him feeling disappointed. Instead of celebrating with his son, his father chose to go on a fishing trip with friends, leaving Ryder devastated and questioning their relationship.
Growing up, Ryder’s life was normal until his parents started arguing when he was seven. By eight, his father was no longer living at home. Ryder vividly remembers his mother explaining the divorce, reassuring him that it wasn’t his fault. After the split, his mom worked hard as an elementary school teacher to provide for him, while his dad became more of a distant figure, often preoccupied with hobbies and weekends spent fishing.
As Ryder approached his 18th birthday, he hoped his father would finally prioritize him. He planned a small party with his mom and friends and even sent a message to his dad. When his father responded with: “I’ll try to be there”, Ryder felt a flicker of hope. However, on the big day, despite all the decorations and a cake baked by his mom, his father didn’t show up.
After waiting hours without any contact from his dad, Ryder called him, only to learn that he was still on the lake, seemingly indifferent to his son’s special day. Ryder felt crushed and hid in his room until his mom found him. He struggled to mask his disappointment, feeling invisible and unimportant.
A week later, his father called, offering to give Ryder a gift. Despite his anger, Ryder agreed to visit. When he arrived, his dad handed him a shiny fishing rod, a gift that felt more like a reminder of his absence than a thoughtful present. Ryder felt betrayed, realizing that his father would never truly prioritize him. When his dad invited him to join a fishing trip with friends, Ryder politely declined, knowing deep down that their relationship would never change.
As he left, holding the fishing rod, Ryder felt a shift within himself. He recognized he didn’t need to chase after someone who didn’t want to be there for him. In the months that followed, he focused on the people who truly cared—his mom and friends. He threw himself into music, practicing the guitar and helping his mom around the house to show his appreciation.
One evening, while washing dishes, his mom asked if he had heard from his father. Ryder shook his head, feeling at peace with his decision to stop waiting. His mom expressed sadness about their relationship, but Ryder reassured her that having her support was more than enough.
Over time, Ryder learned that his self-worth wasn’t dependent on his father’s attention. His experiences taught him an important lesson: sometimes, people won’t fulfill your expectations, and that’s okay. The fishing rod remains in his closet as a reminder not of what he lost, but of what he gained: self-respect, resilience, and the ability to move on from what he couldn’t change.
11 Old-School Parenting Rules That We Can’t Imagine to Follow Today
These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
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