Every day, moms have a lot on their plates.
Managing multiple responsibilities throughout the day, like cleaning their children’s sticky hands and faces, folding laundry, ensuring they eat breakfast and lunch, and getting them ready for school, leaves parents with a lot on their plates and little time for relaxation.
No matter how hard they try, there will always be some sort of mishap—such as a toy you trip over, a glass of milk that gets knocked over, or a stain somewhere—waiting around the corner.
The luxury of taking a quick shower before going to bed or spending some alone time is something that many mothers cannot afford.
A mother who has seen it all, Heather Duckworth, recently wrote a piece in which she touched on some of the things we take for granted as parents.
A crucial component of that process is the mess that children make as they transform before our own eyes into the people we’ve always thought they’ll become.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that our kids will use the messes we cleaned up when they were adults as the greatest evidence to the upbringing we provided for them, so it’s worthwhile to make an effort to find happiness even in the middle of turmoil.
Unfortunately, not every woman gets to witness the chaos and disarray that kids bring about.
Not all parents are able to experience the happiness that children bring into their life, either.
Many new and expecting mothers connected with Heather’s widely shared post , “The Blue Stain.”
As Heather washed the grout her daughter had created with the slime, her heart began to race as she recalled the catastrophe she had to clean up all those years prior.
This mother would think, “My hands were full, but so was my heart,” after a demanding day of chasing after her two-year-old triplets and her four-year-old elder brother, picking up toys, and making sure no one got hurt in the mountains of laundry she was unable to finish that day.
Heather and her two sons danced to the radio as they cleaned up the playroom before calling it a night.
It was the last time they would laugh so hard for a while, no one could have anticipated.
She was about to go to sleep herself when she heard one of the boys say, “Uh, Oh,” and she noticed the enormous blue stain that would follow her about for the rest of her life.
One of the triplets’ pens exploded in his hand, splattering ink all over the place. Blue pajamas, hands, and face gave the appearance that the little child was a smurf.
Heather became enraged and felt like a lousy mother as she watched.
Although she hadn’t been upset with her son, she did blame herself since she’d placed the pen in a place where kids could readily get to it. She gave in to her emotions.
“When I noticed blue splatters all over the floor and a large pool of ink seeping into our brand-new carpet, I panicked. My husband had been doing the dishes, so I hurriedly shouted for him to come help me. My spouse began cleaning those vivid blue stains off of our carpet as soon as I got my son and took him to the toilet to clean him up. I was immediately upset.
Heather would often get angry and frustrated when she spotted the stain on the brand-new carpet. Up until the day it was eventually removed, the stain represented all the amazing experiences she shared with her sons.
A month after the little child spilled blue paint on the carpet, he was given a cancer diagnosis. Two years later, he passed away, leaving the stain as a reminder of their time together.
It remained in place, but now it served as a continual reminder of my kid. It served as a continual reminder of my annoyance at something so little and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
The blue stain served as a continual reminder that although life is messy, it is still worthwhile. a persistent prompt to stop worrying about the little things. a continual reminder that people matter more than “things.” a continuous reminder that mishaps do occur. a continual reminder to hold fast to what is important and let go of the trivial things.
She attempted to hide the bright blue stain with the furniture, but each time she tidied the space, it was there, glaring back at her, a constant reminder of her loss and the grief she was still experiencing.
The purpose of Heather’s narrative is to serve as a reminder of how frequently we forget to see the small things in life that bring us purpose and take life for granted. She feels compelled to tell all the mothers out there that the toys scattered around and the filthy clothes are what actually provide their homes a feeling of security and comfort for their family.
As Heather puts it, those messes caused by the people we care about the most are what give our lives meaning because the day will come when we will truly miss those times.”If it meant I could spend one more day with my son, I would gladly have a million blue ink stains on my carpet.”
She gives mothers this advice: try not to become so engrossed in the world that you lose out on spending valuable time with your children. Prioritize what really important in life since it’s too short to waste time cleaning stains!
My 81-year-old grandma started posting selfies on Instagram with heavy filters.
The notification popped up on my phone, another Instagram post from Grandma Rose. I sighed, tapping on the icon. There she was, her face smoothed and airbrushed beyond recognition, a pair of oversized, cartoonish sunglasses perched on her nose. A cascade of digital sparkles rained down around her. The caption read, “Feeling my vibe! #OOTD #YOLO #GrandmaGoals.”
My stomach churned. At first, it had been a novelty, a quirky, endearing quirk of my 81-year-old grandmother. But now, weeks into her social media blitz, it was bordering on unbearable.
It had started innocently enough. She’d asked me to help her set up an Instagram account, intrigued by the photos I’d shown her of my travels and friends. I’d thought it was a sweet way for her to stay connected with the family, a digital scrapbook of sorts.
But Grandma Rose had taken to Instagram like a fish to water, or rather, like a teenager to a viral trend. She’d discovered the world of filters, the power of hashtags, and the allure of online validation. Suddenly, she was posting multiple times a day, each photo more heavily filtered than the last.
The captions were a whole other level of cringe. She’d pepper them with slang I barely understood, phrases like “slay,” “lit,” and “no cap.” She’d even started using emojis, a barrage of hearts, stars, and laughing faces that seemed to clash with her gentle, grandmotherly image.
The pinnacle of my mortification came when she asked me, with wide, earnest eyes, how to do a “get ready with me” video. “You know, darling,” she’d said, her voice brimming with excitement, “like those lovely young ladies on the internet. I want to show everyone my makeup routine!”
I’d choked on my coffee. My makeup routine consisted of moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Grandma Rose’s “makeup routine” involved a dusting of powder and a dab of lipstick.
The worst part was, my entire family was egging her on. They’d shower her with likes and comments, calling her “amazing,” “inspiring,” and “a social media queen.” They were completely oblivious to my growing dread.
I was trapped in a vortex of secondhand embarrassment. What if my friends saw these posts? What if my coworkers stumbled upon her profile? I could already imagine the whispers, the snickers, the awkward attempts at polite conversation.
I found myself avoiding family gatherings, dreading the inevitable discussions about Grandma Rose’s latest post. I’d scroll through my feed, wincing at each new notification, my finger hovering over the “unfollow” button, a button I couldn’t bring myself to press.
One evening, I found myself sitting across from my mom, the glow of her phone illuminating her face as she scrolled through Grandma Rose’s profile. “Isn’t she just the cutest?” she gushed, showing me a photo of Grandma Rose with a digital halo and angel wings.
“Mom,” I said, my voice strained, “don’t you think this is… a little much?”
My mom looked at me, her brow furrowed. “What do you mean? She’s having fun. She’s expressing herself.”
“But it’s not her,” I argued. “It’s like she’s trying to be someone else.”
“She’s adapting, darling,” my mom said, her voice gentle. “She’s embracing technology. She’s living her best life.”
I knew I wasn’t going to win this argument. My family, in their well-meaning attempt to support Grandma Rose, were completely blind to the awkwardness of the situation.
I decided to try a different approach. The next time Grandma Rose asked me for help with her Instagram, I sat down with her and gently explained the concept of “authenticity.” I showed her photos of herself, unfiltered and unedited, her smile genuine, her eyes sparkling with wisdom.
“You’re beautiful just the way you are, Grandma,” I said, my voice sincere. “You don’t need filters or slang to be amazing.”
She looked at the photos, her eyes softening. “Do you really think so, darling?” she asked, her voice a whisper.
“Absolutely,” I said, squeezing her hand.
Grandma Rose didn’t stop posting, but she did tone it down. The filters became less intense, the captions more genuine. She even started sharing stories from her life, anecdotes that were both heartwarming and hilarious.
And slowly, I began to appreciate her online presence. I realized that it wasn’t about trying to be an influencer; it was about Grandma Rose finding her own way to connect with the world, to express her joy, to simply be herself. And in the end, that was more than enough.
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