Sonia Todd of Moscow, Idaho, died of cancer at the young age of 38. But knowing the end was near, she decided to write her own obituary before passing away. As she explained, obituaries were usually written a couple of different ways that she simply didn’t care for. So, as one of her last acts on this earth, she put pen to paper and decided for herself how her obituary would read.
The result of Sonia confronting her own mortality as she penned her obituary was a piece full of humor as well as wisdom, appearing in the Moscow-Pullman Daily News. The words were so honest and inspirational that long after her death, they will still ring true, giving others something to aspire to. Ironically, Sonia wrote, “I never really accomplished anything of note.” How wrong she was. The truth expressed in the obituary she wrote proved to be quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
“Other than giving birth to my two wonderful, lovable, witty and amazing sons (James and Jason), marrying my gracious, understanding and precious husband (Brian), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior – I have done very little. None of which requires obit space that I have to shell out money for,” Sonia Todd began, explaining why she was writing her obituary and why it wouldn’t be like others.
Adding that she didn’t want a bunch of her loved ones sitting around to write a glowing report of her, which she says would be “filled with fish tales, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and out-right-honest-to-goodness-lies,” Sonia explained she simply didn’t like putting people in those kinds of situations. With the explanation out of the way, she got to her version of the truth about her own life.
“I just tried to do the best I could. Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried. For all of my crazy comments, jokes and complaints, I really did love people. The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in. I didn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing and when you come to the end of your life those are the things you really regret, the small simple things that hurt other people,” Sonia admitted.
Although she said that she mostly enjoyed life, she also said it wasn’t perfect and that she encountered many bumps in the road, especially in her teens and early 20s. Even though some parts of her life were harder than others, Sonia said, “I learned something from every bad situation and I couldn’t do any more than that.” She also claimed there were benefits to dying young. Jokingly, she wrote, “I still owe on my student loans and the jokes on them cuz I’m not paying them. Plus, I am no longer afraid of serial killers, telemarketers or the IRS.”Addressing the fact that some people have told her that writing her own obituary is morbid, Sonia Todd continued, “I think it is great because I get a chance to say thank you to all the people who helped me along the way. Those who loved me, assisted me, cared for me, laughed with me and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life. I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what made my life worthwhile.”
It was the conclusion of her obituary that was the most important, however. Sonia encouraged others to change their lives. “If you think of me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory do this: Volunteer at a school, church or library. Write a letter to someone and tell them how they have had a positive effect on your life. If you smoke – quit. If you drink and drive – stop,” she wrote.
Her advise continued, “Turn off the electronics and take a kid out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop at all lemonade-stands run by kids and brag about their product. Make someone smile today if it is in your power to do so.”
Today seems like a good day to honor Sonia’s memory by completing some of these simple requests and reminding others to do the same. Luckily for us, we still have time for these things. And, thankfully, with her dying wish, Sonia Todd left us these words of wisdom that few realize until it’s too late
My 14-Year-Old Daughter Found a Pacifier in My Husband’s Briefcase — the Shocking Truth Almost Destroyed Me
“Tell you what, sweetie?” I replied, puzzled.
She revealed a baby’s pacifier and exclaimed, “That I’m going to be a big sister!”
Her words stunned me. Since Laura’s birth, more children had become an impossibility for us. The presence of a pacifier in Henry’s briefcase, where Laura had found it earlier that day, churned a storm of confusion and worry inside me.
As the evening quieted down, my mind raced with unanswered questions and fears. I knew I couldn’t just let it go. The next morning, after Henry left for work, I tiptoed into his study. My hands trembled slightly as I placed the pacifier exactly where Laura had found it.
I was determined to uncover the truth behind this unsettling discovery without alarming Henry. Something was amiss, and I needed to find out what it was, not just for my peace of mind but for the sake of our family.
The morning sun had barely risen when I started following Henry’s car from a distance. My heart pounded with a mix of fear and determination as I watched him drive. Normally, he would head straight to his office downtown. But today, he took a different route. My grip tightened on the steering wheel as his car turned into a less familiar part of town.
After about thirty minutes, Henry pulled into the parking lot of a quaint little coffee shop on the outskirts of our city. It looked like a place hidden away from the usual rush, where secrets could be whispered without fear of being overheard. I parked a few cars away and watched as he stepped out, his movements relaxed and unhurried.
My breath caught when I saw a woman approaching him. She was about my age, with a gentle smile. They greeted each other not like strangers, but with a familiarity that sent a chill down my spine. They hugged—a long, comfortable hug that you’d only share with someone you truly cared about.
I felt a sting of betrayal as I watched them sit down at a table outside the coffee shop. They ordered coffee, laughing and chatting with an ease that made my stomach turn. Who was she? Why had Henry never mentioned her? Every cheerful gesture, every shared laugh seemed to amplify my fears and suspicions.
I couldn’t just sit there and watch any longer. My mind was racing with dark thoughts, and I needed answers. I gathered all my courage, stepped out of my car, and walked towards them. With each step, my heart felt heavier. I dreaded the confrontation that was about to unfold but desperate to uncover the truth behind this mysterious meeting.
As I approached Henry and the woman, my feet felt like they were made of lead, each step heavier than the last. Reaching their table, my voice came out sharper than I intended, fueled by a mix of hurt and suspicion.
“Henry,” I called out, ignoring the woman at first. “What is going on here? Who is she?”
Henry looked up, clearly startled by my sudden appearance. The woman turned towards me, her expression a blend of surprise and concern.
“Jen, this is Emma,” Henry said, his voice calm but serious. “She’s… she’s my sister.”
“Sister?” I echoed, my confusion growing. “What are you talking about? You never mentioned you had a sister!”
Henry sighed, a deep, weary sound that seemed to carry more stories than I could have imagined. “I didn’t know until a few weeks ago,” he explained. “After our father passed away, Emma found some old letters he had written. It turns out he had another family before us, and Emma is my half-sister. She reached out to me, wanting to connect.”
Emma, the woman I had mistaken for a threat, offered me a tentative smile. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” she said softly. “I just wanted to know my brother.”
As the initial shock began to fade, we decided to move to a more private corner of the coffee shop. There, Emma shared her story. She told us about being raised by her mother, who had a brief relationship with their father. It was only after he had passed that she discovered letters and other mementos he had left behind, including a baby’s pacifier.
Emma explained that the pacifier was a keepsake from her own infancy. Their father had held onto it. Henry had brought it home, thinking to discuss the possibility of trying for another child with me or perhaps adopting.
Hearing Emma’s story my heart began to soften. I understood the innocence of her intentions and the coincidence of the pacifier. The tension that had built up slowly dissipated. It was replaced by an emerging sense of empathy and curiosity about this new member of our extended family. The day that started with suspicion and dread was turning into a moment of unexpected bonding. It opened the door to new family ties and healing old wounds.
After our conversation at the coffee shop, Henry, Emma, and I decided to continue our discussion in a quieter, more private setting back at our home. As we sat in our living room, the light filtering in through the windows seemed to ease the earlier tension. We talked openly about everything that had transpired, delving into our feelings and the surprising turns our lives had taken.
Henry and I took a moment to reconnect, acknowledging the gap that had formed in our communication. “I should have told you about Emma the moment I found out,” Henry admitted, taking my hand. “I was just trying to figure it all out myself.”
“I understand,” I replied, squeezing his hand back. “But let’s promise to keep no more secrets from each other, no matter what.”
“Agreed,” he nodded, and we both smiled, a weight lifting from our shoulders. We turned to Emma, who had been watching us with a hopeful look. “Welcome to the family,” I told her, and we embraced, sealing our new bond.
A few months later, we gathered to celebrate Emma’s birthday. Our home buzzed with laughter and chatter, a stark contrast to the quiet tension of our first meeting. Laura, who had eagerly taken on her role as a niece, flitted around, helping set up decorations and making sure Emma felt special.
Laura and Emma bonded quickly, laughing and sharing stories. I felt a profound sense of gratitude for the unexpected twists that had brought us closer. Our family had grown not just in numbers but in understanding and love, embracing both the past and the potential for our future together.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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