These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
The fascinating and tragic story of Mary Ann Bevan
I am pleased with the strides our civilization has made in 2022, recognizing that progress comes in various forms. While acknowledging that certain aspects of the past were better, it’s crucial to highlight that some elements of bygone eras belong precisely where they are, in the past.
In the 19th century, “freak shows” were a popular attraction, considered a regular part of American society. These mobile circuses showcased individuals deemed “odd”, such as bearded women and Siamese twins. Mary Ann Bevan, labeled the “Ugliest Woman in the World”, emerged as one of these attractions, and her poignant life story emphasizes the need to remember and learn from such historical missteps.
While human curiosity about individuals with different ethnicities or physical abilities has existed throughout history, exploiting them for profit is ethically wrong, regardless of the time period. In the 19th century, audiences flocked to witness people with deformities in “freak shows”, an unsettling trend that persisted from the 1840s to the 1940s without widespread moral objection.
Mary Ann Bevan’s story unfolded in this challenging period. Born as Mary Ann Webster on December 20, 1874, in Plaistow, East London, she grew up in a working-class household, one of eight children. Unlike her brothers, who found employment when they reached adulthood, Mary Ann pursued education, graduating from medical school and beginning her career as a nurse in 1894.
Her life took a positive turn when she married Thomas Bevan in 1902, and together, they experienced the joys of raising four children. However, tragedy struck after 14 years of marriage when Thomas suffered a stroke and passed away. Left alone with her children, Mary Ann faced additional challenges as she grappled with a rare condition known as acromegaly, which affected her physical appearance.
Acromegaly, characterized by the overproduction of growth hormone, leads to enlarged body tissues and bones. Mary Ann exhibited symptoms around the age of 32, and with limited knowledge about the condition at the time, she struggled to find help. Unlike the typical manifestation of acromegaly after puberty, Mary Ann’s ailment affected her face, altering her features.
Despite her hardships, Mary Ann initially found solace in her family and received support from her husband. However, after Thomas’s death, the disease’s impact worsened, rendering her unemployable due to her changed appearance. Desperate to provide for her children, Mary Ann responded to a newspaper advertisement seeking the “Ugliest woman” for a circus.
Claude Bartram, an agent for Barnum and Bailey, selected Mary Ann based on her photograph and offered her a contract that included a weekly salary, travel expenses, and proceeds from picture postcard sales. Mary Ann’s journey to America in 1920 marked the beginning of her fame as “The Ugliest Woman on Earth”, with appearances at the Coney Island Circus.
Despite objections to the morality of using individuals with physical differences for entertainment, Mary Ann became a sensation, earning significant income. The financial success allowed her to provide her children with education in England, fulfilling her commitment as a devoted mother. Mary Ann’s resilience and sacrifice epitomize true beauty and maternal love.
Returning to France in 1925 for an exhibition, Mary Ann spent the remainder of her life in New York, working at the Coney Island Dreamland Show. She passed away in 1933 from natural causes at the age of 59, fulfilling her dying wish to be buried in her native country, laid to rest at South London’s Ladywell and Brockley Cemetery.
Mary Ann Bevan’s story is a testament to her unwavering determination to support her family. In a time without modern benefits, she worked tirelessly, embodying the selflessness of a mother who prioritizes her children above all. May Mary Ann rest in peace, a deserving tribute to a woman whose life exemplified sacrifice and maternal love.
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