Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
My Son Brought Home a Stranger After School, Saying She Was His ‘Real Mom’
When Ethan burst through the door, dragging a stranger in tow and calling her his “real mom,” I thought I had stepped into some alternate reality. The woman’s tear-streaked face and trembling hands only deepened the mystery. Who was she, and why was she claiming my son?
Have you ever experienced something that made you question if everything was real? Something that made you think maybe you were dreaming?
That’s exactly how I felt when my son said some stranger was his “real mom.” I blinked a few times, half-hoping I’d snap out of it and find myself back in my normal, predictable life.
A woman standing in her house | Source: Midjourney
Before I dive into what happened, let me tell you a bit about myself.
My name’s Maureen, and I’ve always considered my life to be pretty ordinary. I met my husband, Arnold, while working at the local grocery store. He came in looking for some obscure ingredient, anchovy paste, I think, and seemed completely lost.
“Excuse me,” he said, holding up his shopping list like a white flag. “Do you happen to know where I can find this?”
A man standing in a store | Source: Midjourney
“You’re in luck,” I replied, pointing him toward aisle six. “But fair warning… It’s not exactly a crowd favorite.”
We chatted for a bit as I rang up his items, and before I knew it, he was coming back to the store every week, always finding an excuse to strike up a conversation.
“You must really like anchovies,” I teased him once.
“Not really,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But I do like talking to you.”
A man talking to a woman | Source: Midjourney
It wasn’t long before he asked me out.
Arnold was sweet and kind, and he had this way of making me feel like the most important person in the room.
Within a few months, we were inseparable.
When he proposed, it wasn’t some grand gesture with fireworks or a flash mob. Just a quiet moment at my parents’ house over dinner.
A ring | Source: Pexels
“I don’t want to spend another day without you,” he said, slipping a simple gold band onto my finger.
I said yes without hesitation.
After we got married, I kept working at the grocery store for a while. Arnold had a stable job at an accounting firm, and though money was tight, we managed.
However, things changed when I found out I was pregnant with Ethan.
The moment I held him in my arms, my priorities shifted.
A baby’s feet | Source: Pexels
I decided to stay home and raise him, pouring all my love and energy into being the best mom I could be.
Arnold supported my decision, and together, we built a happy life.
That’s why it felt like any other day when I heard the doorbell ring as I was making lunch. It was around the time Ethan usually got home from school, so I assumed it was him.
A woman working in the kitchen | Source: Pexels
The water on the stove was boiling over, so I hurried to turn down the heat, barely paying attention as I called out, “Come in, sweetheart! I’ll be there in a second!”
“Mom!” Ethan’s voice echoed from the front door. “I brought someone home to meet you!”
I grabbed a dish towel and wiped my hands.
“Okay, sweetie, but let me know who it is next time!” I said, distracted by the bubbling sauce on the stove.
It wasn’t until I glanced toward the front door that I realized something was off.
A doorknob | Source: Pexels
Standing beside Ethan wasn’t one of his friends or a neighbor.
It was a woman in her mid-40s. Her pale face and red-rimmed eyes told me she’d been crying. She clutched a small bag to her chest and looked like she was about to fall apart.
“Uh, hi,” I finally spoke. “Who’s this, Ethan?”
“This is Mrs. Harper,” Ethan replied. “She’s my real mom.”
“What?” I whispered, barely able to get the word out.
A woman standing in her house | Source: Midjourney
Mrs. Harper stepped forward, her hands visibly shaking.
“I… I’m so sorry for the confusion,” she stammered. “Ethan, sweetheart, why don’t you go wash up? We’ll talk in a minute.”
Ethan pouted, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation. “But I wanna stay!”
“Go,” I said firmly.
Ethan looked startled but obediently trudged toward the bathroom. As soon as I heard the door close, I turned back to the woman.
“Who are you?” I demanded. “And why are you here with my son? What’s going on? Are you crazy?”
A woman looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
“I’m not crazy,” she began. “But there’s something you don’t know. Something neither of us knew… until now. I think Ethan is my son. My biological son.”
My brain refused to process her words.
“That’s ridiculous,” I snapped. “Ethan is my son. I gave birth to him. I’ve raised him. What are you talking about?”
“I-I’m sorry,” she said. “Please let me explain.”
I didn’t want to hear her explanation, but I couldn’t seem to stop her either.
A woman standing in a house | Source: Midjourney
“Ethan was born in MJSCR Hospital, right?” she asked.
I nodded cautiously. “Yes, but—”
“So was my son, Charlie,” she interrupted. “He would’ve been ten this year. For years, I didn’t suspect anything. But as Charlie grew older, I started noticing things. Little things that didn’t add up. He didn’t look like me or my husband. People even joked about it sometimes, saying he must take after some distant relative.”
A woman talking to another woman | Source: Midjourney
She paused, wiping at her tears.
“But I brushed it off. He was my son, and that was all that mattered. But when Charlie turned eight, he had to do a family tree project for school. He started asking questions, and I… I couldn’t give him the answers he wanted.”
She sighed.
“It got me thinking, and I decided to take a DNA test. Not because I doubted him, but because I thought it might give us more information about our ancestry.”
A back view shot of a boy | Source: Pexels
She broke down then, her words coming out in fragments.
“The results came back… and they said Charlie wasn’t mine. I didn’t know what to do. I told myself it was a mistake. I even retook the test, but the results were the same.”
“So, you think Ethan is…?” I asked, unable to complete my sentence.
A woman standing in her house | Source: Midjourney
She nodded.
“After Charlie passed away because of leukemia, I couldn’t stop thinking about the DNA test. I needed answers. So, I hired a private investigator, and he found hospital records that led me here. Our babies were accidentally exchanged at the hospital. And Ethan… he’s the right age. When I saw him today at school, I just knew.”
“This is insane,” I said, shaking my head. “Even if you think this is true, you can’t just show up and tell a ten-year-old boy that you’re his real mom.”
A woman talking to another woman in her house | Source: Midjourney
“I know,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking. When I saw him, I couldn’t stop myself. He looks so much like my husband used to when he was a boy. I’m so sorry.”
I felt like I was drowning.
My son was my entire world, and now this stranger was claiming he wasn’t mine. It didn’t make sense. It couldn’t be true.
“You’ve got this all wrong,” I said. “Ethan is my son. He’s mine.”
A woman talking | Source: Midjourney
“I understand why you’d feel that way,” she replied. “But I’m begging you… please, let’s do a DNA test. If I’m wrong, I’ll leave and never bother you again. But if I’m right…”
“I won’t let you take my son away from me even if you’re right,” I told her. “I’ll take the test. But if you’re lying, you’ll regret ever coming here.”
She nodded.
The next few days were pure agony.
Every time I looked at Ethan, I felt a knot tighten in my chest. He was my son and I couldn’t let anything change that fact.
A boy standing near a couch | Source: Midjourney
Arnold was furious when I told him what had happened.
“This is absurd,” he snapped. “Some random woman waltzes in and claims our son isn’t ours? It’s a scam, Maureen.”
“She seemed sincere,” I said, though I wasn’t entirely sure myself. “And if she’s lying, the DNA test will prove it.”
“You actually agreed to this?” Arnold looked at me with disbelief. “Do you realize what this is going to do to Ethan?”
A man talking to his wife | Source: Midjourney
He was right. This could tear our family apart. But the seed of doubt was already there, and I knew it wouldn’t go away without answers.
“I didn’t have a choice,” I whispered. “What if she’s telling the truth?”
Arnold didn’t respond. Instead, he shook his head and stormed out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Finally, the results arrived.
My hands shook as I opened the envelope, Arnold standing stiffly by my side.
An envelope | Source: Pexels
I read the words once. Then again. But my brain struggled to process them.
Ethan wasn’t our biological child.
Arnold snatched the paper from my hands.
“This has to be wrong,” he said. “There’s no way…”
But there it was, in black and white.
The boy we had raised, loved, and called our own wasn’t ours.
We met Mrs. Harper at a park to share the results.
It felt safer there, out in the open, with Ethan nearby but far enough away that he couldn’t overhear.
A metal fence in a park | Source: Pexels
Mrs. Harper’s face crumpled the moment she saw the paper in my hand.
“I knew it,” she whispered. “I knew he was mine.”
Ethan was blissfully unaware, swinging high on the playground and laughing as the wind tousled his hair.
“What now?” I asked.
Mrs. Harper took a shaky breath.
“I don’t want to take him from you, she said. “You’ve raised him. He’s your son in every way that matters. I just need to be part of his life. Even if it’s small.”
A woman talking to another woman in a park | Source: Midjourney
Arnold clenched his fists.
“Absolutely not,” he said. “You’ve already done enough damage.”
“Arnold,” I said softly.
I could see Mrs. Harper’s pain. Her grief was etched into every line of her face. She had already lost one son, and I was sure we couldn’t deny her the chance to know the other.
After a long, difficult conversation, we agreed to let her visit occasionally.
It wasn’t an easy decision, and Arnold fought me on it for days afterward. But deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do.
A woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
In the weeks that followed, Mrs. Harper slowly became a part of our lives.
At first, it was awkward and tense, but over time, things improved. Talking to her made me realize she was just a grieving mother trying to find a way to move forward.
Ethan didn’t know the full truth, and we decided to keep it that way.
To him, Mrs. Harper was just a new friend who cared about him deeply. And maybe that was enough.
A boy smiling | Source: Midjourney
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s another one you might like: Diana was painfully preparing herself to say goodbye to her dying husband in the hospital. While she was struggling to process that he had only a few weeks left to live, a stranger approached and whispered the jolting words: “Set up a hidden camera in his ward… you deserve to know the truth.”
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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